I think I can, I think I can, I know I can

13. A Challenge you’ve overcome

Henry Ford

Well I haven’t overcome my anxiety…yet…but I will!

*Long Post Incoming!*

Let me explain…

So I will reflect on a time when I felt like “Why does everybody hate me” I was getting cyber-bullied, when cyber-bullying wasn’t even a really a “thing” yet. I felt like it was never going to end and it made go so inside myself…metaphorically…I never felt like I was going to recover…Mainly because the bullying just didn’t seem to be ceasing.

The odd thing about the situation was I had never met the “ring leader” she had just decided that she didn’t like me. She didn’t want to be with my boyfriend, but constantly would use him. Even within 24 hours after we broke up she just HAD to tell me how he had tried to kiss her, she felt it was only right to be honest with me…I managed to keep my cool…And then found out a couple of days later he had actually tried to kiss everybody…and I do mean everybody…Guys included…It just got even worse after we broke up, with her. My ex and I are now fine, we’re actually really good friends.

It went on for about 6 months roughly. 6 months of stressing, every second day throwing up, every day getting some sort of message about how horrible of a human being I was, losing friends because I unfriended her (those are not real friends by the way). This was going on every day, or at least every other day for 6 months…It felt so much longer at the time.

After that 6 months I started to realise something, which then changed my life and the way I deal with girls and situations like this. How unhappy must she be? For all the talk about how much she loves the guys and by love I mean she constantly talked about how much she wanted to sleep with all of them, while they were dating her best friends. They literally stopped being friends with me because she wanted them too…

How unhappy must you be to attack someone else? No one who is happy, attacks others. You just don’t.

When you are truly happy you do go out of way to attack someone, especially someone you don’t even know…You just can’t be bothered…Why wreck a good life?  When I started to realise the power that I had, how sad her life must be…I started to come out of my shell again…What could she honestly do? The people who are always there for me, stayed with me. I was safe. When I started to realise these things, I could even start making jokes at her expense. Which sounds mean, but it was more I was having a conversation with someone on a forum and she just had to tell me how “immature” I was being. So I called her “MissButtSexputdrugsinouralcoholwantstohaveorgiesandhavesexwithmybestfriendsboyfriends…is calling moi immature?”. Pretty much every topic on that forum was her talking about one of those topic. She did not like that. Her response was toxic and she got banned from the forum. The irony being she has not only ended up with the guy that banned her, but they are still together and have a kid!

The result of this was giving me a life back. My Life.

I was able to laugh at her, I was able to laugh at the situation. It was ludicrous. I was finally able to stop it from affecting my life and I was actually able too start moving on from my ex as well. That was part of the problem, she kept bringing it up. I must have taken that selfie of myself to make jealous, except for the whole he couldn’t see it unless they were showing him, thanks to my privacy settings. Constantly being told how happy he is with his new girlfriend etc.

This is what it has helped me overcome in my future life…

It also taught me the biggest lessons in my life. About relationships in any form, family, romantic, friendships. What is appropriate, what isn’t, what I should and shouldn’t apologise for, about who is really there for you. How I don’t want any fake relationships of any kinds in my life. I have also been in a similar situation since and I learnt SO much and how to handle it, with pretty much no drama. That has my life has been pretty much drama free since then.

“I read comic books”…Why women hate “nerds”

“I read comic books”

As a general rule now I skim by a lot of the articles and twitter feeds that are on Facebook these days, because people are just dumb…and they get so comfortable and feel so righteous about everything, it is like people genuinely believe “Well that’s my opinion, so I’m right” and if anyone dares disagree or makes a good point, they should just “shut their traps”. No one wants to discuss things any-more, everyone just wants to be ‘right’.

That quote is what started my rant today. I was looking through some of the posts on Facebook about families who cosplay together and this made me smile, until I got to a picture of a mother and her two daughters dressed pretty much like Michelle Pfieffer “Catwoman”. One guy decided to write that he thought it was wrong to dress the little girls like “tramps”. A whole bunch of women (which lets be honest, is rare) started to defend the mother and her choice and saw nothing wrong with the outfits. I wasn’t going to say anything  until I saw this guy write about how these ladies should “shut their traps” and how he “read comics” so we couldn’t argue with him?

This guy is the exact example of why I, and a lot of my female friends, will NOT date nerds and geeks! As a general rule they are the worst, every nerd and geek that I have dated has treated me horribly. A great example of this is when I got out of an abusive relationships within a particularly nerdy group where I got bullied and hit by my ex-partners room-mate. As sometimes happens I had a one night stand with a guy (after we broke up)…Fast forward a week later I wake up to be publicly humiliated on Facebook by a group of guys “slut-shaming” me because how dare I have a one night stand and not date their “good guy” friend instead. God knows I want to get back into a group who think publicly humiliating a girl over something that isn’t any of their business and thinks that this is a really good idea to get their own way.

Funnily enough I don’t have anything to do with those guys any-more. Yet they still insist that they are a bunch of “good guys”. GOOD GUYS do NOT publicly humiliate people over things that are NONE of their business. A good guy would have gone and asked me why I had the one night, since I had never one before and it was completely out of character for me. I’ve seen a bunch of them who are over 30 humiliate a bunch of teenagers on Facebook because the teenagers didn’t agree with them.

Now I know that not all “nerds and geeks” are like this, but it seems to me the one that’s are completely into whatever their genre is in the gaming world, they seem to be the worse. If they have other interests or other friendship groups outside of the gaming world, they seem to be a lot better. A great example of this is the guy who all the other guys wanted me to date, by humiliating me. The actual guy started a hairdressing course and is friends with really lovely girls, he has since apologised and we are great friends. However, the guys who actually humiliated me are all still doing the same things and still acting and reacting in the same way. Literally nothing has changed.