My LONG weekend at Grans

Haha, I was totally stressed out the whole time, but I survived. The biggest reason of course though, I was doing it, was to give my Mum and Aunt a bit of a few days without having to worry.

Problem with people with dementia, they like their routines. When I say “like” I mean they are really obsessive. Which I get. When I first offered to do it, I thought we’d go for a walk on the beach. It’ll be such fun … Ummm, noooooo…

I think I messed up her routine, by being here. The first thing that happened was I was woken up 5am with a bright light in my face and my Gran upsettably talking to my Aunt. According to my Mum and my Aunt, this doesn’t usually happen. The whole point was so that Aunt and Mum didn’t have to worry. Yet, I was worrying they were worrying, because she rang them several times that first day. I ended up being so stressed out, I really didn’t want to go for a walk on the beach, and we didn’t.

I am by nature, a very “worried” all the time kind of person.

Too the good carers out there….I freaking salute you!

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Dementia/Alzheimer and the Carers

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before. My Gran has recently, well nearish the beginning of last year developed dementia … or Alzheimer … Seriously, I can never remember (and it’s okay to laugh at that). Either way she’s got one of them. So it’s been a little … well more than a year since she diagnosed. She was diagnosed just before COVID really hit.

If you managed to read about my “long” weekend yesterday, than first of all … thank you ❤ I don’t think I even realised if I was making sense or not.

What I would like to write about today, is how, if you ever find yourself taking care of someone with dementia or Alzheimer’s. That it’s important to remember to take care of yourself too. Too remember yourself that it is hard for the person with the problem. However, you need to remember to take care of your life problems too.

Life always has this annoying thing, that it goes on and things crop up. Life doesn’t stop because someone we care about gets a horrible disease.

Now, in the case of dementia and Alzheimer’s, from what I can see from my mum and Aunt, is the guilt. The guilt of doing the wrong things.

I’m going to post a podcast episode about this very thing. My mum was telling me about, and I listened to it. I’ll break down a couple of things, and then post the podcast link.

What really made me sit up and listen is when she started to talk about and to remember (as a carer), in that moment that the “patients” feelings and emotions are just as valid, in that moment, as they would be to anyone else. So, if say, in five minutes, they’re happy and fine, then they are happy and fine. As carers, they tend to focus on the bad moments, and worry themselves with guilt about how they might have done something better, differently etc.

The thing is you can’t worry. It’s a natural human thing to worry and worry a lot, when you really love someone and they’re in pain (even for a moment) and you don’t know what to do.