My LONG weekend at Grans

Haha, I was totally stressed out the whole time, but I survived. The biggest reason of course though, I was doing it, was to give my Mum and Aunt a bit of a few days without having to worry.

Problem with people with dementia, they like their routines. When I say “like” I mean they are really obsessive. Which I get. When I first offered to do it, I thought we’d go for a walk on the beach. It’ll be such fun … Ummm, noooooo…

I think I messed up her routine, by being here. The first thing that happened was I was woken up 5am with a bright light in my face and my Gran upsettably talking to my Aunt. According to my Mum and my Aunt, this doesn’t usually happen. The whole point was so that Aunt and Mum didn’t have to worry. Yet, I was worrying they were worrying, because she rang them several times that first day. I ended up being so stressed out, I really didn’t want to go for a walk on the beach, and we didn’t.

I am by nature, a very “worried” all the time kind of person.

Too the good carers out there….I freaking salute you!

Dementia/Alzheimer and the Carers

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before. My Gran has recently, well nearish the beginning of last year developed dementia … or Alzheimer … Seriously, I can never remember (and it’s okay to laugh at that). Either way she’s got one of them. So it’s been a little … well more than a year since she diagnosed. She was diagnosed just before COVID really hit.

If you managed to read about my “long” weekend yesterday, than first of all … thank you ❤ I don’t think I even realised if I was making sense or not.

What I would like to write about today, is how, if you ever find yourself taking care of someone with dementia or Alzheimer’s. That it’s important to remember to take care of yourself too. Too remember yourself that it is hard for the person with the problem. However, you need to remember to take care of your life problems too.

Life always has this annoying thing, that it goes on and things crop up. Life doesn’t stop because someone we care about gets a horrible disease.

Now, in the case of dementia and Alzheimer’s, from what I can see from my mum and Aunt, is the guilt. The guilt of doing the wrong things.

I’m going to post a podcast episode about this very thing. My mum was telling me about, and I listened to it. I’ll break down a couple of things, and then post the podcast link.

What really made me sit up and listen is when she started to talk about and to remember (as a carer), in that moment that the “patients” feelings and emotions are just as valid, in that moment, as they would be to anyone else. So, if say, in five minutes, they’re happy and fine, then they are happy and fine. As carers, they tend to focus on the bad moments, and worry themselves with guilt about how they might have done something better, differently etc.

The thing is you can’t worry. It’s a natural human thing to worry and worry a lot, when you really love someone and they’re in pain (even for a moment) and you don’t know what to do.

What do you think?

My mum made a really interesting point the other day. Why was it when 9/11 happened, the world managed to come together. Although it happened in America only, we still felt it globally. We came together, and also came together to protect the Muslim people.

So why hasn’t that happened this time?

Why do we seem more divided than ever? I do think we all want the same thing, for COVID to be gone. Yet, some people are going a really ODD way of showing that way. So many anti-something people. I do think they want COVID gone, but I also think they’re more worried about being “right” (when they so often are not), or they want to look better (when they don’t). Instead of being like 9/11 and just being there for people. You will always have those anti-something people, but it seems to be to a extreme this time.

The Heart Cries

I could not believe what I was seeing and reading.

These families being tear gassed, the pictures of those children crying.

I had to sign off on Twitter yesterday…All these MAGA “Christians” How can they SEE these pictures of children running from the tear gas and say such horrible things? HOW! I get the delusion…How can they say the children deserve this? The parents are using them for shields? They knew they were coming! How are the parents supposed to know they were going to get tear gassed! Who’d think America would do that?

Jesus

Now Fight!

It’s funny in a way, I started to write this Blog post and scheduled it a couple of weeks ago. Every time I came back to it, I couldn’t remember the initial thought I had to write this, but everything around the world…This is my current mood. I think it’s a lot of people’s mood right now.

Fighting for/within ourselves, fighting for each other, fighting against each other.

Indian People Dance GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

It’s time to recharge and be kind to ourselves!

Take the time:

  1. Have a cup of tea
  2. Buy that thing you know you want (as long as you’ve got the money and it wont make you bankrupt).
  3. Dance like no one is watching.
  4. Meditate
  5. Read a good book. Whether that’s an old book or a new one!
  6. Play a favourite game!
  7. I know it’s tempting to reach for that piece of chocolate…Reach for the Fruit instead!
  8. Take a quick walk.

 

 

I wish…

I wish there was some way I could make an account and send out random messages, so it’s private, but without it seeming creepy. Not creepy messages, but messages like:

“You Rule”

“Keep doing You”

“You deserve the world”

I’ve been interesting in leaving little post it notes in random places with positive messages left on them. So if someone picks them up then, hopefully, it will make them smile a little…But I would love to be able to do something like this for my friends and family.

Positive Robin Hood GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Heed these Words!

Stressing is your body’s way of not trusting. Today, trust that all things are working together in your favor! With Love, Dr. KL Author of “Every Day Isn’t Perfect”: amazon.com/author/iamklregister

via Monday Motivation — Dr. K. L. Register

I remember two days before I had my first panic attack. I was sick, I couldn’t move without throwing up. Yet everyone kept “demanding” that I show up and help them out. I was SO not okay and I did not listen to my body and how angry I was with pretty much everyone at this point. I was sick and they just did not care.

Enabler

Do I believe Johnny Depp is a serial abuser? No

Do I believe that Amber Heard being an abuser, makes it alright for someone else to be one? No

Do I believe that alcohol and drugs can sometimes make people do crazy things? Yes

Do I think his “fans” letting him off because of his looks (because we don’t actually know the guy) make them enablers and contribute to his downfalls? Yes.

“He looks ill”

DON’T BE AN ENABLER!

QUIT BEING “YES” FANS!

Let me put it another way…If that photo of Johnny was a photo of someone you cared about, what would you do? If you had seen the video Johnny and his anger towards Amber, but Amber was your family or your friend…Would you be alright with what he did?

I have had friends who are enablers. The irony is that they don’t realise it, until it’s too late. Don’t be that person! It’s okay that Johnny isn’t “perfect”, but he and we can do better!

It’s

Flowers

(Although, as someone pointed out to me, that people who are looking for their natural parents. May not agree with this…You get the general idea though =P…This random thought came about when someone asked me if I missed my ex-friends and I explained why I didn’t…Realising they hadn’t really ever been there for me, pretty much ever. It’s not hard to miss someone who was never there for you to being with!)

Clicks

I think that I may have mentioned this before. I just feel though I wanted to reiterate. I’ve been so lucky with my birthday recently. I really do feel like taking out toxic people made a very big difference for my birthday this year. Usually my closest ex-friends, let me down. Not only that though I wanted to catch up with people because I’m trying to get more social again. It’s working too =D

https://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/sociopath/beware-the-narcissistic-sociopath/

Sometimes we just see an article, a song, a quote and it “clicks” and it all makes total sense. Your behaviour, someone else’s.

Have you ever come across something, a quote, a song, article, etc? That just clicked with you? Care to share?