What do you do after?

I think one of the most difficult things about a break up and what you do afterwards, is, what do you do with all the gifts afterwards? If you’re going to keep them, or anything, how long do you hold on, and how do you determine which things are items that you want to hold onto?

letting-go-breakup

I had one ex who had kept…well pretty much everything…I am always wary of a person who has SO many things of their past relationship. That that person could literally walk back into the door and it was like they were never gone. I think what was also a red flag was when my ex told me that he had left angry, which had meant he had to go back and get all of her things, clothing, empty paint bottles, even some adult toys. That is having far too many things of your ex’s. You have to let at least some things go.

However, I also think it’s okay to keep a couple of things, but it all depends on the individual. Some people do have trouble letting go and will use the items left behind as a way to keeping holding on. I once had a box that had bits and bobs and over the years it’s gotten less and less as I’ve thrown out more and more. Some of the things that I have held onto are items that are hopeless hopes that my ex’s weren’t complete douche-bags, and that I hadn’t made such horrible choices.

I think the weirdest thing I have ever seen an ex hold onto was the adult toy. For various reasons, firstly is just crept me out. His ex girlfriend bought it for herself, so he didn’t even buy it for her, she bought it for her. The reason they broke up was because she was constantly cheating on him. How could you take a adult toy, without knowing whether or not she used with those others? That and it’s just gross. His friends know all about this particular toy and seemed almost shocked when asked if I had ever used it and I said “HELL TO THE NO!”…Are they kidding?

 Have you kept anything from a past relationship? Only feel comfortable sharing if you want, if you have, why? Do you have an issue with current partners keeping items from an ex? What’s the weirdest thing an ex or yourself has ever kept?

A year ago today…

I am not sure how many of my readers have a Facebook, but on Facebook ever so randomly they have this “app” called “TimeHop” and what it does is it allows brings up a post from say a year ago from today or 5 years ago and you can post it onto your Facebook. I don’t actually have this app on my Facebook, but it still randomly shares posts and today it decided to share a post today. Reminding me that a year ago I broke up with my ex.

One of my roughest break ups ever for myself personally. My ex had been chasing me for months and then when I finally decided to break down and say “Yes” it moved very quickly and then it was over a month later. It wasn’t just over but my ex treated me very cruelly afterwards as well and honestly I still believe, till this day that he never cared. I hated the song by “A Great Big World, feat Christina Aguilera” … “Say Something” because that’s pretty much what happened. He wanted to break up and then refused to talk to me and decided, of all the friends he had, to go and tell the first person we had broken up, the person who hated me the most? The guy was horrible to me….Obviously. Made no sense.

A year ago

I never thought that I could trust someone, let alone love someone ever again.

Yet, here I am a year later and I am in love with someone who is like the most incredible person I have ever met and takes such good care of me. I can’t even explain how happy he makes me. He’s honestly also the first boyfriend I’ve had that actually makes me feel he really wants me around. That is SUCH  an unusual feeling for me and sometimes it still makes me a little sad that it’s taken me this long to find someone who treats me like that =/

It amazes me where my life has taken me since this day. I never thought that a year later I would be here. Stronger, happier, feeling more fulfilled. When I think about how I felt and how long it took for me to trust my current partner, it still astounds me that I am here.

What do I do now?

So you’ve broken up with someone and you’ve gone through the whole “Why don’t they love me?” the drinking and the crying and the eating the really bad food. What next? I don’t know if anyone else has ever experienced it. There’s always a moment for me when I’ve gotten through all the bad stuff and I’m over it all. I think that’s the danger moment, when you can so easily fall back into a pattern.

We always hear about when we first break up with someone how hard it is and then how you’ll get through. What about that first moment when you realise, you are alright. Not the going to be moment, but…the moment…

It’s such a lost feeling you’ve been wrapped up in these feelings and emotions for so long and even with a short break up, a hard breakup can take a lot out of out. Yet, you’re not quite at the “I am SO over you” moment. You may not be over that person yet, but you know you’ll be alright.

5 reasons…

So I have had one of my best friends break up with her partner recently (which I was glad about, he was the definition of douche!lol…But I have been very good and not bashing him though,lol). Now my best friend is absolutely not good at being single. Pretty much when she’s single the rest of us who are in relationships can’t really be lovely dovey type thing.

It made me start to think though, there are both benefits to being single and being in a relationships. I’ve always been on of those people who is completely fine being single, but once I’m in a relationship, I tend to end up falling hard and fast. So here are the five reasons I think being single are good, and being a relationship is good too.

Single:

  1. Freedom! Not answering to anyone…
  2. Save money…All the money all for you!
  3. Flirting…You can flirt all you want without feeling guilty, and have celebrity crushes!
  4. Not shaving…(Oh, I miss this one!) When you’re single, if you don’t want to shave…You don’t have to!
  5. Did I mention the freedom part? You can go out when you want, you can get dressed up or dress as a slob when you want…So much freedom!

Relationships:

  1. Cuddles!…And the other thing…You know what I mean~.^(unless of course your not into that until marriage!)
  2. Sometimes you can actually save a lot of money while dating, IF your partner and you are on the same path.
  3. Dating your best friend (Nawww)
  4. Dating your crush! (Oh la! la!)
  5. Lonely…This one is interesting, if you have a good partner, you’ll never feel alone…If you have a bad partner, you will ALWAYS feel alone!

 

Uploaded by: Hannah Witton

Published on 3 Dec 2014

Musical Bethan joins me to discuss what’s better: being in a relationship or being single? What do you think is better?
Watch the video on Bethan’s channel: http://youtu.be/xGhU-sJYHlM

Why? Goodbye my almost lover <3

As you probably have guessed (and from me blogging about it constantly) I have broken up with my last ‘beau’.

We were at that stage when we were both “Lets be friends” and everything was hunky dorey and we kept telling each other how much we missed each other…and then…One of us (i.e. him) decided to do something stupid and I found out about it (mainly because his friend posted it on his Facebook account). So now we’re at the “don’t speak to me ever again” point.

I’m not sure why this seems to happen to me, but my ex’s always tend to run straight to the person (their friend) who made my life the most horrible/miserable. So the first thing that happens is this person makes sure that I am aware of this. I have no idea why this seems to happen to me every single break up (and I am not exaggerating). On the plus side though it makes letting go THAT much easier. I honestly believe who you CHOOSE to be friends with, no matter how much you may “claim” not respect or like them. If you hang around people…Doesn’t that make YOU much worse than them? At least they are truly being the morons everyone believes them too be.

This is something that I have struggled with every single break up. I am sitting there defending them to my friends and family (when necessary) and yet my ex’s run to the people who hurt me the most, while claiming they have no respect for them? Pretty much (to me at least) proving what truly kind of person you are? If you choose to hang out with someone who uses a private medical condition as a weapon to hurt someone, makes up stories that you tell everyone else EXCEPT the person you are actually apparently mad at and passively aggressively cut out your so-called “life-long best friends” and that’s who choose to be with…You, my ex-friend, have everything coming to you.

Even as I am writing this my views are constantly changing…Now I am at “I don’t even care…I always remember how you chose them over me…Too have a deep and meaningful, you have to be deep and meaningful to begin with -.-“…

Uploaded on 12 Jan 2009

Pre-VEVO play count: 13,883,350
Music video by Katy Perry performing Thinking of You. (C) 2008 Capitol Music Group, a division of Capitol Records, LLC

 

 

Seldomly the right thing…

The quote for this week isn’t actually from a well known author or a well known character…This is a quote that I thought of a couple of days ago while I was volunteering and it just resonated with my situation this week =)

“Very seldom does the right thing to do, feel like the right thing to do, and is usually the very last thing that you want to do”

Author – Lolsys Library 2014

A year ago today…

A year ago today,
I realised I was truly on my own,
So it was then that I became my own first superhero.

Another year older, a little bit wiser now,
No longer looking over my shoulder and no longer looking back in fear,
You went away a year ago today.

My tears ran dry a long time,
I never thought that I could feel this free, for the first time in a long time,
I have come a long and lone way, you wouldn’t recognise me any-more.

A year ago today,
My dreams started to come true because there was no more room for untrue,
My story is far from over.

Until the monster crawled into my bed,
I always thought I had kept one step ahead,
The roughest time of life turned out to be the best.

I say goodbye to the ungrateful traitor…

A year ago today I began a new chapter, I began a new me,
A new life full of promise and full of love and life,
Something I never thought I could be…A stronger, better me.

So for all that you did and all that you have done and will do, I thank you. For helping me become me. I have never been happier, dreams are coming true now, rather than just staying a dream, something that could never have been if you were still around.

“Fight fire with fire, the truth to a liar…I’m going higher”

Published on 17 Aug 2012
Music video by Delta Goodrem performing Dancing With A Broken Heart. (C) 2012 Sony Music Entertainment Australia Pty Ltd.

End of an era…

As some of my ‘follower’s may know during these last few months I was following a normal every day family take on an extraordinary challenge. The ‘Dash’ family decided to take on the responsibility to look after a single ostrich. They took a single egg and people from all around the world watched the ‘birth’ of Pip as he broke painfully slowly out of his shell. 

I watched the whole hatching process and it was completely lovely and grew attached to Pip and fell in love at first trilled. At the same time I was going through probably the worst break up I have ever had to experience in the whole of my life. Little Pip and the Dash family and the hundred of thousands of people watching this different experience got me through those rough weeks. Unfortunately, the night after the last huge fight I had with my ex. I woke up the next morning to find out that Pip had passed away in the night. It was the first time that I broke down and cried for everything that had happened that year. Found out later that Ostrich hatchings are the hardest to grow into fully grown adults. Pip passed away from a unabsorbed yolk sac. 

Dash didn’t give up though! They obtained three more eggs. Skippy, Popcorn and Rascal. All were born successfully, unfortunately, again…Skippy passed away within a couple of weeks from an infection in her intestines. Rascal had to be put down since he was born with a disfigured leg that would have gotten worse over time(and believe me when I say that they tried everything!). Popcorn survived through all of that and the Dash family were visiting Ostrich wranglers to take Popcorn in and then he was attacked by raccoons and had to be put down the night before. 

Although I know how depressing they might all sound and believe me I stopped watching the live web stream after a while. The experience has been extremely positive. It was incredibly interesting to see and find how hard it is to raise ‘birds’. It is not something that is easy and especially with Ostriches, can be extremely heart-breaking. When you lose so many little babies! One of the most positive experiences from this though, were all of the people involved. Everyone who watched, supported Dash and his family and went through grief with them when they experienced lost. I have purchased an Ostrich figurine to remember all of these different experiences and to remember what it all meant to me.

Last night was the last night before the web cam and chat was stopped. We talked for hours and it was hard to sign off for that last time. I went back on the site this morning to double check that it was gone…and felt a sadness to see that it had. It was probably the more interesting and one of the rare positive experiences that I had of 2013 and will cherish it always.