Nurture Thursday – Never Blame Anyone

Nurt Thursday – Never Blame Anyone

What is interesting about this, when I went to schedule this, I didn’t know what was going to happen this week. When Pippy passed, I finally admitted to my mum the next day, the guilt I had. In return, she told me that she felt guilty too. See, I knew that last weekend my mum was going to be out last weekend, for the whole long weekend.  Although I wanted to stay with the Pippy. My partner is also moving at the end of March, we’re soon having people through the house. So I offered to help him clean. My mum didn’t get home that night until about 10:00.

Pippy had been asleep when my Mum got home and she was wobbly, but fine. The other thing was last year, Pippy had an attack  of, what we thought, was vestibular syndrome, also known as “old dog disease”. We’re now wondering if it was a brain tumour or cancer. So my mum, when she rang me, thought that’s what it was again. As the emergency vet said this was probably also it.

My mum rang me and wanted to know if I could come over the next day, her Uncle is here visiting from the UK. She told me how Pippy was lying on her chest, just like she had the last time. I decided to come over straight away, that way my mum could just leave whenever she wanted the next day…

I think about 10 minutes after I got there, her breathing got funny. Very quickly, she didn’t make it to the vets.

Even though we both knew there was probably nothing the Vets could have done anyway. We both still feel guilt for not being with her, although she would have probably just slept the day away and we were both there in the end for her. She died in my arms, on the way to the vets. I’m not even 100% sure she knew I was there, She definitely was aware my mum was there. But we still feel we should have been there.

 

Blame

When my parents split up, it wasn’t them splitting up that made things worse. It was all the adults reactions to my parents splitting up. When my parents split up, about 100% of the adults told me that I had to support my Mum and that I had to take her side. Now I don’t know if you know…That is just a no no. You NEVER tell a child to take any parents side.

  1. The children, living under the roof, are more likely to know than you what’s been going on. I know my can be Dad is shit, but I still love him.
  2. Children probably still love both their parents.
  3. The children don’t break up with their parents.

With my own situation because people kept telling me that I HAD to take my Mums side. I literally felt like I had no one to talk about my Dad and what he was going through. I was 12 when my parents split up and apart from being bullied two years before hand. I had never experienced anything bad before. Too suddenly become the parent and have to take care of one, while the other was really revelling in the attention and loving it, ignoring our pain. Was hard.

Too make matters worse, I had no ask me if I was alright. So at 12, my mum’s ignoring me, my Dad is telling me if I don’t tell my Mum he loves her, he’ll kill himself and no one is asking me how I’m coping. I’m still sure that’s the whole reason to this DAY, I can’t ask for help,lol.

 

Are You Aware?

So one thing that has been irritating me a lot lately are people playing the “blame game”. Especially when it comes to mass shooters and trying to place a blame on something. For this post I am just going to talk placing the blame on violent games or tv shows. People using examples of real life violence and how people were “inspired” by fictional characters.

Here’s the reality,

There is always going to be something that inspires people. Just like kindness, if you’ve got that “evil bug” there’s going to be something. Banning or trying to dial back wont work. Because just like I am not inspired by violence, violation. There’s people out there who are wired to be inspired by it.

One good red flag is anyone whose obsessed. So if your partner is doing nothing else but playing games for hours on end, then they clearly have a problem. Which probably has nothing to do with the actual “theme”. They just have a switch.

I’ve been finding it very interesting to be “lectured” about dialling back on the violence by people with a profile picture of an anime character. Because we all know how Anime doesn’t over-sexualise, violate or have extreme violence in it at all…Sarcasm.

Japanese Anime Cooking GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

(I mean, come on, how safe is that really! Not everything is cute and bubbly in anime world)

I don’t think these people are aware of the extreme behaviour anime is known for. I say this really LOVING some anime series’s (Death Note, Trigun, Cowboy Bebop).

Giant Robo Mecha GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

(Well that’s realistic)

Stampede Badlands GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

The Blame

So I’m alright…But I had a thought the other day…I don’t think anyone has ever apologised to me? For anything. You ever just have those moments where you think “Wait a minute…” Why is it always my fault? Even when it’s not actually?

Human beings are an interesting lot.

I started to realise over the last few months that I get blamed for a lot of things that I don’t think I’m responsible for. If I tell you “Don’t do that” and you do, isn’t that your fault? But the thing that’s interesting thing to me, is that it’s always by the people who tell me that I need to speak up more. So when I’m quiet I’m wrong, when I speak up I am also wrong.

No wonder I never know if I am coming and going with people.

I expect it with certain groups of people, where it’s okay for them to do it. Just not anyone else. ie Kyle Kashauv…(I think that name is wrong. I mean Trump supporters). The same people who had no problem with the police shooting and killing Tamir Rice. Now have a problem with rejecting someone based on their lack of character (Something Harvard have done previously). The SAME people who attacked the kids of the Parkland Shooting. Now are saying “Why do lefties always attack children”. I have decided to put Dana Loesch on permanent mute.

I feel like I’m not even a mother yet, and everything is my fault,lol

Just another day…

I promised to myself that I wasn’t going to have a “conversation” with ‘gun nuts’ anymore…but I recently wrote a thread on Twitter, mainly because I am SO over people blaming the FBI and mental health…When their “leader” took away the ban that stopped mentally ill people from buying a gun in the first place.

It was ironic in a way as well because as I was tweeting with this guy…There was a news report of another teenager being arrested because they had brought a gun too school.

His repsonse was about how come the ban didn’t save the kids of Colorado, Sandy Hook…etc…My response:

Also this…I guess you can click and see the conversation: I also did mention the FACT that Trump STILL hasn’t put that ban back as well as continuing to dismantle the mental health system…Then I realised half way through… Maybe he’s placing the blame squarely on the FBI and does nothing to help with mental health…Because then the FBI might feel obligated to have to do a check on all the gun owners who have made threats towards the American people (which lets face it, is a lot…I mean I have seen literal Twitter accounts with memes saying if they try and take my guns away they’ll shoot those people)…Taking their focus away from the Russian Collusion…Clever boy!

How do you tell the difference between a young kid making threats and a grown ass woman making public threats and placing targets? Both have guns, both have access to guns, both made threats and placed targets. BOTH are upset because things aren’t going THEIR way.

Dana Loesch threatens disturbing new bizarre NRA commercial

Where does the blame lie?

This is something that I’ve noticed in the last couple of years, and I don’t know if it’s just me or is it something that you have all noticed too?

I’ve started to noticed a thing these days instead of people taking any responsibility when they blame someone, they then turn around and say “Oh, but I’m not blaming them/you”

YES THEY ARE!

Daniel Bryan Yes GIF by WWE - Find & Share on GIPHY

I’ll use a couple of examples that I’ve seen or seen others use against me personally.

Last week I talked about how women are STILL the main culprits when it comes to attacking other women when they come out about assault (See the blog here). One of the main things that they kept saying was “I’m not blaming her…but…(or then goes on about how she should have left)” Yes you are blaming the victim! That is blaming someone!

Myself personally, one of the life long friends that I’ve recently banished for life. A couple of years ago when I was trying to tell her to leave her abusive boyfriend. Her whole excuse for why we didn’t hear about the “good things” he had done. The whole reason was because when she is single, she was really jealous about hearing how happy we were in relationships…I was the only single one at the time…I have been single more than I’ve been in relationships…I have NEVER EVER been jealous of my friends being happy…In fact I have been the complete opposite for my friends…Especially when they’re actually being treated been well…When I pointed out this too her…Not the fact that I am nothing like this, nothing about the fact that his abuse SHOULD outweigh the good. Of course my response was but you are blaming me, for your way of thinking……She just kept saying “I’m not blaming you, I’m just saying that’s how I think”….Which you’d think my so called “best friend” of half my life should know me better than that…and it is still blaming me.

Hence why we will no longer been friends after she blamed me of treating her like dirt the last couple of years…She’s still with the boyfriend by the way…Abuse 101!

Anyway…What is up with this trend lately? How about you just say what you mean. If you don’t mean it, don’t say it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Put the blame where the blame lies

It’s time we stop blaming sports or entertainers for politics being involved. It’s the politicians who keep bringing it up! Kapernick had taken the knee for a while and was not a huge issue until the POTUS brought it up…The biggest issue with Macklemore was there weren’t Australian enough to perform at the Australian NRL Grand Final until Abbott made it an issue #puttheblamewheretheblamelies

I do sometimes wonder if these politicians are secretly wanting love to win or something? Abbott’s mentioned Macklemore and suddenly “Same Love” is number one on iTunes in Australia. Bernardi mentions #doitinadress and suddenly the causes gets more donations than it ever has before….Did I mention that Abbott and Bernardi said nothing flattering about either of these causes…Because they really didn’t.

Barbie

Straight to the point.

So last week there was a massive Ho Ha about Amy Schumer playing the Iconic “Barbie” doll. Although I think she isn’t playing actual Barbie, just a Barbie in a Barbie world.

Once again though it’s brought up a lot of “real body” issues. I HATE that term and I hate that people will bring it up because of their own insecurities. I don’t actually like Amy Schumer (she just isn’t my kind of funny) but some of the comments about her were really gross. They honestly proved her points as well. There are both tall and skinny, chubby and short, REAL bodies, that are perfectly healthy bodies. They DO exist. The guys in my family, for example, are all tall and skinny, and are perfectly healthy. Yet people think it’s appropriate to send me messages to ask if they’re alright, they don’t look like they’ve been eating. Stop with the “Real Body” shame. if there are people who are living, breathing, human body shapes, they are, in fact real.

The other issue that I have is blaming Barbie for body issues. I feel like saying “Duh, she’s unrealistic” she’s a 20cm doll, she is actually not real. I want to say if you are basing your body appearance on a non-living plastic thing, maybe you should be looking deeper? Maybe question the people you are allowing around your life instead. Barbie’s not putting a gun to anyone’s head. There were aspects of my Barbies “life” that I wish were mine. That was more to do with they were Rock-stars, and one of them was only allowed to eat junk food, if she ate vegetables she would die! How many parents are actually telling their children “You should look like Barbie?” If they are, don’t blame the doll, blame your parents. Barbie, for me, was able to live a life I wasn’t able too.

There is not a single doll out there that is realistic! Even the new Barbies they have been made to be more “realistic”. They are dolls, to help you create an imagination with, not for you to base your appearance on. How about we teach children to use their imagination rather than their image? What if you buy a child a short chubby doll and they grow up tall and skinny and they feel bad about themselves because they didn’t turn out short and chubby, who do you blame then?

As adults we need to stop pushing our issues onto our children. It’s time for the adults to stop focusing on image, because that’s where the children are getting it from.

Uploaded by: AquaVEVO

Uploaded on 20 Aug 2010

Music video by Aqua performing Barbie Girl. (C) 1997 Universal Music (Denmark) A/S

  • Category: Music

  • Licence: Standard YouTube Licence

Do what you want to do!

I was trying to think what to post about today, with everything that’s going on in the world today, I wanted to post something magical and a little light, not such a heavy post. I kept seeing something though that was really irritating me though. People attacking each other because they weren’t talking or posting about the attacks “the right way”, really getting into each other … So I have placed from my Facebook into this Blog post my frustration about the situation.

“Do what YOU want you to do, if you think we should send love to all countries being attacked, do it, if you want to pray do it, if you want to donate, do it, if you want to actually travel to countries that are being attacked, do it, if you want to change your profile picture DO IT… You do realise attacking each other for how we want to help people get through this is EXACTLY what the terrorists want, right? They are trying to attack Freedom and our ability to do what we want, feel safe doing it and to be individuals and we are all attacking each other for how we want to help? What is WRONG with people? You are not better than somebody else when you are having a go for how they want to help, you are making it worse! People have the ability to pray, send faith and do something to help!”

So saying all that I am posting a video to make it a little lighter now =P

Uploaded by: It’s Compilated

Published on 16 Dec 2014

Even dogs fail. A funny compilation video of dogs failing.

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Oshkosh Zoo

http://fox11online.com/2015/05/28/police-report-gate-to-wolf-area-left-open/

You know irritates me the most? It doesn’t even really matter who’s to blame…Why wouldn’t you get the rabies shots! Why should an animal have to do die because of a human mistake. I would have sent the money to pay for the shots myself! Maybe next time (although they shouldn’t have to) the Zoo could possibly pay for the shots? If that was what the problem was. I would say that I hope this a valuable lesson for this mother and her child, but I doubt it.