National Best Friends Day

I wish I had written this earlier today/yesterday. Apparently it was America’s National Best Friend Day. This for all the people, who like me, don’t really have a “best friend”.

It’s okay.

One of the things I’ve learnt in the last couple of years is that you don’t need a best friend. I don’t really consider myself too. I would say my mum and my partner are the closet thing to it. What you need though is the very best from your friends =D I know some amazing human beings who have been a better friend to me than anything close to what my ex best friends ever were. Because who wants a “best friend” who makes you feel like you could be better friends with your worst enemy?

Uploaded by: Giorgio Magliano

Published on 12 Oct 2010

Wanna be my friend?

I get asked a lot would I be friends with my ex friends if they came and apologised too me. My answer is always going to be a “Oh Hell No”.

John Boyega GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

It’s not that I haven’t forgiven them, I have. It’s not only because I don’t think they ever would anyways. It’s more that when I think about it. I’ve come to realise that they were never my friends to begin with. That is sad to a girl, who even when I was little. At Christmas time I would make sure that all the decorations (that weren’t baubles) had to have someone else because “Everyone needs a friend” and the sad conclusion that I came too where I realised I’ve never actually had a best friend.

As sad as that it is and too much like a Robin Williams quote. It’s true and I’m fine with that. I just don’t want people in my life, who make me realise that ever again in my life.

I deserve better than that.

I do miss having a best friend, in the “traditional sense”. When my partner saw that I had written that I didn’t have a best friend, he got really upset with me. I think it actually hurt him. I think he knows now what I meant…I hope so! But I think you know what I mean? I can hardly talk to him about any of my dream weddings plans!lol

Be your own best friend

These last couple of years have been pretty rough on me, friendship wise. I’ve lost a lot of friends, friendships have changed and I’m came to the conclusion this weekend, that I don’t really have a “best friend”. I thought I did…But I really don’t think I do. I have good friends and close friends and fun friends. I don’t think that I’ve ever really had a “best friend” though.  A couple of years ago the best friends I thought I had completely changed (you can read the start of my changes here from a year ago).

Too break it down, one of my best friends got into an abusive relationship and it was on and off and I got sick of it. I stood up and instead of telling, well if they love each other they should work it out, I told to her to leave. I got hated on for it and that’s when it began. One of my “best friends” started to “accidentally” leave me out of ‘best friend and sister’ posts on Facebook, and then got all upset with me when I told her off. Then the actual girl told me we had grown apart because I was single, she didn’t want to tell me all the good stuff in case I got jealous. When she’s single, she gets jealous of happy couples. Except I have never been like that, shouldn’t my “best friend” of half my life know that? What kind of friend does she think I am anyways, that I’d rather hear about her getting abused, then happy things? Then every time she’s come out here, she seems to see only one of our best friends, out of our “best friend” group. In fact, she has seen one of our best friends partners one on one, more than me.

I think the thing that worries me most, is that I’m not even sad about it. It’s just feels like one less responsibility and less person you owe something too, or in this case three people. Have I become so cynical and heartless? As I have been slowly taking myself out. It’s been kind of nice too to take myself out of these groups, nice and slowly. As every time something happens and I am hanging out with them, all I can think “Why does nothing change” and also “How stupid are these people?”.

Not being ‘stuck’ in a group has also meant I have had more time to get out there and discover things I am interested in and meet new people. These included having more time to write a Blog, or the stories I am currently working on. I also go for longer walks with my dog. I can go off and explore things around the neighbourhood when I want, I have more time for crafting stuff. I don’t know if it is also because I have a good boyfriend who I can muck about it and he has been a better friend than they have. Maybe that’s also why it’s been so easy?

I feel like I get do things that I want to do, I can go to places I want too, eat at places I want to, shop where I want too and not feel like I’m being dragged along, or dragging someone else along too.

Sorry, I think that this post is a bit all over the place.

Are any of you in the same situation though? Do you feel like without those people in your life, you are actually alright as well? Do you feel like you should be missing them, but you are hey okay without them?

One of those “days”

So having one of those “days” got into a fight with a ‘best friend’ of mine…I should be reminded that if someone doesn’t want to leave a relationship that is more than unhealthy for me you either a)say nothing or b)accept that you’re going to be blasted for wanting to be protective. Guess which one happened to me! (In case you can’t guess, it was option B,lol).

The weird thing that I’ve been perfectly fine, even though I’ve been called “fake”, passively aggressively though. I’m not even sure why that is, these are my BEST friends. There’s one or two who aren’t necessarily taking sides but they’re just letting me know they don’t think the same way the others are. I can take comfort in the fact that I feel strong too, I wont even let my best friends talk shit about me.

I guess when you speak the truth and you are coming from a genuinely honest concerned place, I guess that makes all the difference.

 

 

Soul Mates

Alone on a Saturday night and I don’t care!lol…I haven’t even really been drinking, I have had one lemonade soft drink with a shot of vodka in it. It’s honestly been really relaxing and I am enjoying and am about to watch even more Disney movies.

Any-ways, I have been sitting here and thinking to myself. I feel so grateful about a lot of my very close friends and the people who are in my lives and it got me thinking about soul mates. I don’t think soul mates are just for the romantic partners. I think anyone whose soul entwines with yours in some way or another and I think that this can be anyone, that’s what a soul mate is to me.

 

soulmates

 

 

Soul Mates

Soul Mates…Perhaps a bit of a strange title to put into a single themed type blog post, really? It really isn’t though!

I just recently watched the Sex and the City episode “The Agony and the Exactsy” the one where Charlotte says that unforgettable quote…

sex and the city

It got me thinking (as the great sayings always do!) I think it probably the most problematic problem, especially when you start a new relationship. It’s that fine line between trying to include everyone you care about in at the same time, but yet, at the same time, trying to make sure that everyone individually is treated wonderfully well.

 No matter what, your relationships especially with your closest friends are going to be the most important you’ll ever have! Never ever give that up for a romantic relationship!

Best Friends = Best Lovers?!

This has been something I have been thinking about a lot lately. When I look back on all of my lovers (because I’ve had oh so many =P) the ones that I can say were the best lovers I had, were also pretty much my best friends…The ones where it to satisfy an means to an end, I was never satisfied afterwards and those guys always ended up being the ones who caused me the most dramas.

I guess because they didn’t try to get to know me and because I am a girl who can find fun with a guy without  wanting to be in a relationship and they don’t think girls can handle it. I miss my best friends…Why did they have to go and get girlfriends for?lol…That is another thing though, even having  girlfriends, I can still go and talk to them about pretty much everything still. Whereas the other “ones” are being completely passive aggressive and you know that they are writing statuses and liking pictures to have a go at you.

I wish that I still had a special best friend like them in my life. I am so tired of ‘playing’ with these silly boys who think that liking a profile picture/status or tagging you in a picture is some kind of “flirting” Will Shakespeare would be turning in his grave! I miss mucking about with someone and then being able to giggle and cuddle afterwards (and nap) and then have both of us go on with our lives. I sincerely miss you! ❤

I am definitely proof that best friends can make the best lovers!

Best friends-Best lovers

Never send in a boy to do a mans job…

This week has been pretty up and down for me. I was doing really well, had a amazing birthday party, had a amazing birthday. Then for some reason the rest of the week it’s been coming down and I have been at a complete lost as to what to do or who to talk too. I tried talking to some friends about it, but then one of them hijacked the conversation to talk about themselves…again. I do not open up very easily and when they did it, it shut me down again.

So as you can probably guess by the title…I have guy issues and I have no idea how I keep ending up in them! I have taken myself off of Facebook for a while to figure myself out and figure out how to take my next step. Now I am taking time to ask my male friends what I should look for in a guy who really likes me versus a guy that just wants one thing and doesn’t actually care. Every time I meet these guys, the first time it is so much fun and I don’t necessarily want to date them, but it is nice to have someone to have fun…and then it always just goes downhill from there and yet their friends always adore me! So I always end up stuck between needing to be civil to stay friends with the other friends and wanting to kick them in male special region!

It’ll be kind of like an emotional holiday.

Sometimes I wish these guys would just hug me and say there is nothing wrong with you. When I ask them why they are doing what they are doing, they either say absolutely nothing or “I don’t know how to respond”. I feel like it’s the most frustrating thing ever! I want answers as to what I may be doing wrong, but am getting nowhere. As a lot of my friends have pointed out to me though a “Man” would never want a girl who does nothing else but taking selfies and talks about being drunk, getting drunk or thinking somehow being sober is some major achievement. I don’t blame men…I just seem to have a terrible time picking out good ones. It is me.

I want to be in love again, I don’t want to live in fear any-more ❤ Thank you for listening!

dancing