Thursday Theories – My Anxiety

Now the purpose of this blog post. While I will talk about something that I think I’ve realised about my own anxiety. This post is, (I hope) a informed post about listening to your bodies. Which includes listening to your mind.

Our bodies are well equipped to let us know when something is “off”.

Over the last few months, I have experienced really odd flushes. I wouldn’t call them hot flushes, but they’re more like shaky flushes. Almost like when, I assume, your blood levels go low. However, when I’ve been tested, I haven’t got anything wrong. I decided to start taking note of when I get these shakes. I started to noticed that I get them when I’m getting really annoyed or fed up. It can even be something as simple as, I’m clearly not listening or am listening, but have to pay attention to something (haha), but the person whose talking to me, expects my full attention. It can be something literally that simple.

So I have started to think that it’s probably got more to do with my anxiety tablets, than anything else. As a kind of side effect, I guess you might call it.

I believe when my brain starts to get annoyed, it must be increasing something in my brain and the tablets are sending out weird signals. My brain on the anxiety tablet handles when I become annoyed, by making me feel like I’m going to faint.

I didn’t want to look it up on Google, as you all know what can happen then!

I could only really find though really, how anxiety can make you feel dizzy…which duh…There was a couple of things that did talk about it being a side affect.

The point of this?

When you have a illness, whether it be physically or mental. Yes, even spiritual.

We tend to listen to the Doctors, Nurses, family etc. And ignore what we think is going on. We just pass things off. Don’t do this. Listen to your body, your gut, your mind.

My “theory” is that our body are the best judges of what our body is going through. I know we tend to brush these things off, but do not. Take notes, if you must. Day, time and what you felt.

Journal Prompts

I love journal prompts and anything that helps me to think of topics to blog. I find it very personal to write prompts about my anxiety and it’s issues. Then I came across “The Mad Mummy” blog/website. They have created journal prompts for anxiety and depression, that may inspire us. Initially I was going to do this once a day for a whole month. After reading the actual questions. I decided that I’m going to do one, once a month. This way I can really get into the question, rather than trying to rush.

Let’s see if I have any ah uh, moments!

1. List 10 things you are thankful for today.

As I said this is going to be a once a month thing. So although it says for the day. I’m just going to list 10 things I am generally grateful for.

      1. I am grateful that I am not an actual Royal…Except in my own mind,lol
      2. My furbabies still being here. Both for myself and them. I love just looking at them…Probably creeps them out,lol
      3. My family. How I am able to be me, how we are all so different, and we still get on so well.
      4. When I’m busy at work. I don’t think about how sick I am, and I do think about how much money I am making
      5. All my plushies, to hug when no one else wants to hug,lol.
      6. That I have a roof over my head.
      7. I have furbabies that are still here. We nearly lost our chihuahua this week a year ago! They wanted to put her down, but she’s still here and she has her moments of an old lady, but every now and then. She’s like a puppy.
      8. All the comedy shows I enjoy. For the whole of my life.
      9. The Sims,lol
      10. I am grateful for being me ❤

The funny thing about anxiety…

Is that things you really used to enjoy, you start to feel sick at the mere smell of them. Take, for example, I’ve stopped drinking coffee. I wasn’t an addict, but I’d usually have two cups a day and one cup of tea. Ever since my anxiety attack, I’ve got right off of it. I can’t even stand the smell of it. We had a customer come in and he had this huge cup of take away coffee with him, and it made me feel as sick as the musty smell of cigarettes.

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The other thing that I’ve been finding funny, since my dog got sick I came off of them all together. Before you all panic, I was only on 5mg since I had spoken to my Doctor about coming off them all together. I didn’t want to come straight off, so I’ve been doing it slowly since then. While she was sick though, I came off of them, because I couldn’t remember if I had taken one that day or not…So guess what’s happening to me right now too?lol

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I am brain farting all over the place at the moment,lol

You have to find the humor some days!

 

The “Cure”

One thing that I have noticed in my Blog posts about having Anxiety. I have really only talked about having it and what I go through when I have it.

Then when it occurred to me, I should start writing about I find helps myself. I started to think about it when I pointed it out to someone you are never really “cured” from having anxiety. You just learn over time to listen to yourself, your body and learn how to not live with it per-say, but better cope. So you don’t overwhelm yourself.

What I’d like to do if I’m feeling a bit more anxious, there’s a couple of things:

  1. I have two word games, one an anagram games and the other is a sort of crossword.
  2. I always makes sure that I have my earphones with me. If I get the right sound to help, the difference that couple of minutes can make!
  3. Going for a walk, the fresh air…I love that fresh air.

#LetsTalk

I am going to have to start off with not only a trigger warning, but reveal a little about myself…A faux pas about myself if you will.

I watch UK (United Kingdom) soap operas…I know…It’s tragic! Please do not hate me…

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There’s one in particular, Coronation Street, that has been absolutely moving lately. One of the main loved male characters David was raped by another male. Another character Aidan killed himself and now they are dealing with the ramifications of that. It wasn’t actually clear that Aidan had killed himself. The last episode was of him crying at the end, but you don’t see any bottles of pills or anything like that.

Although the episodes have been upsetting since. It’s been great in the respect that they are bringing men’s issues to light. Men do get raped, men do struggle with mental anxiety and sometimes even more so than women! If you follow the hashtags #Let’sTalk and #ItOkayNotToBeOkay…You can find more about it. I am so happy that they did these story lines. I do believe that men tend to struggle with mental health issues worse than women, mainly because of whole “manly” thing.

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*Please Know Men* It’s alright to talk…If you trying to talk and you don’t think your friends will let you…Get yourself some better friends and reach out! #ItsOkayNotToBeOkay

Let’s get to it!

I was going to originally title this post “There is no a cure for anxiety!”

Then I thought though, that sounds like a really harsh topic heading to get this post started on and I do not want to upset people.

I was talking on Facebook…discussing, if you will, about how you can “cure” anxiety with good food, lots of exercising…and I do hate it to say it…There is no cure for anxiety…If there was no one would suffer from it anymore. If there was, trust me, it would be the most popular item on the market and would probably sell out ALL the time.

Saying that though, there are ways to help and make life easier…Too “control” it to a certain extent.

Everybody is different and can learn to control it in different ways for yourself. Myself personally:

  • I do not drink coffee anymore, unless I am 100% certain that I am not headed anywhere. Of course though life is uncertain, especially lately!
  • If I’m having trouble sleeping I use my Atmosphere anxiety app.
  • Meditation is so helpful! Make a “space” for yourself. Even if you have to go out to do it. At least once a week, get a space for yourself.
  • I am aware there are days where I feel vulnerable, so I wont go on places like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc.
  • Then there are other days where I feel like I could fight back.
  • Computer games, for myself, are a GREAT distraction! I have a couple of games that I can lost in for hours and forget for a while. Then because I’m not constantly thinking about whatever is causing myself anxiety. It calms me down. Especially when I have trouble jumping in Guild Wars 2,lol

Some areas of my life have gotten a LOT better.

Like peas in a pod…

As mentioned with my February Goals I mentioned how I was going to look into different types of Anxiety apps. This is my write up about what I found. I hope it helps someone else.

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Calm: This is probably one of more popular phone apps which helps with anxiety. It comes with an average 4.6 rating. They do have quiet a selection half of which is free and unfortunately the rest you do have to pay for. I managed to find a few things that I found helpful to begin with. The unfortunate thing is that you can only go so far along. Then you have to end up paying for more things. I did enjoy the different types of sounds they had to offer. They had people read audio books as well, which I found nice. Especially the Stephen Fry reading!

Overall rating: I would say that it’s probably a 7/10 … It’s good if you’re looking for something that’s free to an extent. If you want to take it further you will struggle and that can get frustrating.

Atmosphere: I have personally really enjoyed using this one. The basic premise for this one is that you can select different types of sounds. I have been using the one as I fall asleep.  It’s just that though, it’s just sounds. There’s no mediation instruction or anxiety instructions. You can also put a timer on it as well, so it turns after a certain amount of time.

Overall rating: I would highly recommend this one if you need help sleeping. There is such a selection of music and background music.

MeditateBot: This is, I believe, a Facebook app…My first clue should have been “Bot” in the title. Too break it down, it sends you messages to your private Facebook messenger. Inspiring Quotes, healthy tips etc … However, it will just randomly send it to your messenger. Every time I went to put my wifi on I’d have 5 or 6 messages all different kinds.

Overall rating: I guess if you need a little “pick me up” the quotes and the little facts can help, but it wouldn’t be good in an “emergency”. Unlike sounds/voice as well you can’t really sit and listen to it.

*At the moment my personal favourite one is Atmosphere. I use it mainly to help me fall asleep. That’s when I start to have the most issues with my anxiety.*

What I’ve learnt

It’s been just a little over a month since I’ve started taking my anxiety medications and there are some things that I have learnt over that time…I have learnt a lot! Mainly about myself, but I wanted to share my experiences with you and maybe we could learn together!

  • Coffee – I loved coffee but oh my goodness! I stopped having it for a while and I went to have a cup recently and “Oh my Goodness” You can feel how your mind becomes messed with up coffee, especially when you haven’t had it for a while. It’s almost like being on a low dosed mind altering drug.
  • Eating well – I have been a LOT better lately and I have actually been losing weight. It’s been amazing! I feel when I eat a lot of bad food I just feel sick. Probably something to do with what is altering my mind to suffer from less anxiety can’t cope with bad food very well. It needs nutrients!
  • Activity – I guess because mine isn’t a social anxiety, I have been trying to do a lot more things. So I’ve been doing a lot more things, so I’m not thinking about anxiety all the time.
  • Saying all that as well – I’ve been finding on how I’m feeling that there are certain things I just cannot watch anymore. For the moment, if I see a program regarding mental health I have to be really carefully about not setting myself off.

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  • Yourself – Sometimes it can feel very lonely to be going through this. What I’ve learnt is that even people who say “get over it” Do want too help. They just don’t understand. I’ve learnt to speak more up for myself.
  • Relaxation – I am natural worrier, it’s the hardest thing in my life to just “relax” and not worry. This is my hardest lesson. It’s also though how I am trying the hardest in my life to just “relax”. I feel if I could truly learn to do this, my anxiety would just ‘go away’. When I start to feel a bit anxious, I like to sing a song in my head and just repeat. While I find something to occupy my mind with.

I’m doing it today!

I am doing it today! I am heading to the Doctor today and I am making them (this time) give me anxiety medication! I write (this time) in brackets because I have actually been to the Doctors and at first I respected the fact that they didn’t want to put me on tablets. They suggested I do hypnotherapy and it has worked to a point.

I feel like there is absolutely no shame in it. My life has definitely stopped and I’ve had to give up more work than I’ve ever had too recently…It is literally like my mind is tired of fighting it too. I just need a little help, it’s like taking flu medication that’s all. I do wonder sometimes if having that week off that I wanted too a month or so ago would have been helpful as well though.