The Ever lasting Effect of an Empath

Over the weekend Safari Live had a very special fireside chat that was dedicated to the Queen that is the Leopardess Karula. It got me too thinking, about those things, people, animals, that leave us with an impression forever, even though those things that we’ve never actually met before. How do they affect us so much?

Take the situation with Karula, I’ve never actually physically seen her, not to face to face (not that I would have wanted too), but through a tv screen, yet whenever I see a picture of her or a screen shot I started getting emotional. Or take the Manchester bombings, I don’t even live in the same country, let alone in Manchester, yet the whole day I was crying. Even with people I dislike, or people who have done me wrong. I get upset for them when I hear something terrible has happened, I just cannot revel in their misery.

EmpathTest.com

(My super serious title is : The Moon Goddess Empath)

Any fellow Empaths in here?

I think that the issue I have most with being empathetic, is that unfortunately, I tend to “suck in” other people’s emotions and I have to constantly suck myself back out of situations before I am completely and utterly sucked in by the toxicity, and there is a lot of that out there!

So what as one empath to another, what suggestions that people who are empathetic, what direction, what suggestions can we make to one another to make our lives a little easier. It’s very hard to function in the world if we consistently let the world upset us. I have a few suggestions:

  • Make a commitment to yourself to take yourself off of all social media for at least once a day a week.
  • Eat and drink healthy…I know it may seem like a cliche, but I have taken out coffee recently and I have really noticed the difference.
  • On those days off from social media, fill your mind with something fulfilling, completely personal for you.
  • Understand that you do not have to go to any party or gathering, if you feel you don’t want too. Make sure though you do treat your mind instead!

One thing you should understand though is that being an Empath is not the same as having depression or a mental illness, that is a completely different thing. Although the two can overlap and correlate a lot.

Bean Bags!

I am all about having the most comfortable reading nook. Below is a link to some really gorgeous reading nooks. Please feel free to talk about your own!

30 most beautiful reading nooks (Ebook Friendly)

My question though is, what do you think about bean bags? There’s one I found recently and I’ve never had a bean bag before so I don’t what the “etiquette” is. I would love to hear some recommendations or any funny stories you’ve had with bean bags!

How do you do it?

I was just thinking in the shower, as I do a lot, some of my greatest and most random thoughts happen in the shower…The one I had today was what do you do when you have a great thought for a Blog, but then have not much, or nothing to write down with? The only tool I can think of is having a little notebook in your bag at all time, or to have to “text” myself…What I’d really like to know though, do you have other suggestion?

This or That? #88

this-or-that

This or That? #88

This Bookmark Chronicles would like to know:

How do you get out of a reading slump?

Reread a favorite ~ Stop reading for a while ~ Read a brand new book 

Or something else?

I can’t believe that I keep forgetting to do these, I guess I’ve been in a This or That slump myself!

Too get myself out of a reading slump the first thing that I usually try is reread a favourite book of mine. These can be from any section of my books, even if it might be considered to be “lame”. The other thing I’ve noticed when I think about it, not only do I usually reread a favourite, but it has to be a particular favourite. Sometimes I feel to get myself out of my slump, will also depend on my book. If I want to something easy or fun to read to help, or just just to get myself reading again, I might read something like my new found Babysitters Club books. If I want to get more into fantasy type reading (to maybe inspire myself to write as well) I’ll start reading maybe something like The Hobbit.

I could never stop reading, because that’s usually how I get into my slumps in the first place. I wouldn’t be able to read a new book to get myself out of my slump. I don’t know where the new book is going to take me, if I don’t like, I would probably stop reading for a while.

How to move on

I have this friend…She’s what a lot of people who would call her “desperate” in terms of she REALLY wants to be in a relationship and because of that she has made some terrible choices. One of which was on and off and is, what I thought at the moment, off and had been for nearly a year. However, recently I’ve discovered through all her talk and Facebook statuses about not being able to move on and blah, blah, blah…I recently discovered she STILL texts him all the time and goes out with him on the weekend. I thought she was just hanging out with some friends and some of his family members…but now I’ve discovered, apparently, him too. Which was made apparent when she posted a photo with him…Which neither any of our friends liked.

Which part of this is her moving on, if she is still apart of his life in every single way?

It’s a mindset I just do not understand.

She’s not the only person I know who does it to an extreme either. I have a family member who doesn’t speak to pretty much all her family members except for one. Even then she only started speaking to her recently. Some she stopped speaking with for good reasons, but others are really stupid. For example, one of her brothers didn’t want to come to a party because he had just had a break down. BUT she has a friend who has taken tens of thousands of her dollars and retirement fund, not paying a single cent back for nearly two years, but gets hurt when they don’t want to hang out with her? Yet she keeps telling us that she’s moved on from all the other family members and she doesn’t care what they do or about their lives…YET AGAIN…She constantly stalks their Facebook and is always telling me or asking me about things on their Facebook. Things I haven’t seen because I am not stalking their profiles…But you know…She doesn’t care.

When I’ve had to let go of people, I admit, the first few months I am genuinely curious what is going in and I may go see their social media pages, depending on my mood. However, at some point I stop. I had once ex who I couldn’t even be in a pub or club with and I didn’t keep hanging out with their families and I have my own friends.

These are some things that I do when I want to move on:

  • I will un-follow people to being with and then after time I might even unfriend and block them.
  • If I block them I will always write to them beforehand why I’m doing that.
  • I try to distance myself for a little while from any mutual friends we have. I find that people who genuinely wanted to be friends with you, will stick around.
  • I will block their number from my phone and delete it. If I need there are other ways I can contact them most of the time.

Birthday Woes

Not so much woes…Just annoyances really. Not even really annoyance, just life happening.

My birthday is just in under a month away and it’s actually on a Saturday, so its not a “important birthday”, but because it’s on a Saturday, so I’d like to do something cool. I was thinking of having a games night…

None of that is the actual problem though…

The actual problem is at least half the group…have all broken up with each other, and I would consider myself a good friend to both parties. The other issue is none of them are getting back together, because within about two weeks to a month of the different breakups, one side was already in a new relationship. One can’t stop talking about her new partner, none of us have met him and she has no pictures of him on her Facebook, and they are already engaged. The other broke and the guys best-friend and his ex were dating within a month and they JUST had to make it “official” on Facebook straight away…Why…You’d have to ask them.

So I’m in a tad of a dilemma … Do I just invite them all and let them work it out, or another idea I had was to have a girls night and then a separate birthday party?

International Women’s Day

Today is officially Internationals Women’s Day…I say officially because I got all confused last week when people starting talking about “World Book Day” every where has different different dates. So I thought that I had better double check. Seems like today is the official day.

Every year there is also a theme for that year, this year the theme is #BeBoldForChange.

International Women’s Day: #BeBoldForChange website

How will you be Bold for a Change?

This is a great day to reflect and take a look at those women who we admire and why we admire them. Too take a look at ourselves and question what we can do to make the lives of others better. Not just women, but for all. I think considering the type of people who are in charge of running our countries, not just the orange Oompa Loompa, we NEED to take a long hard look at ourselves and see what we’ve become.

11 Facts about Women around the World … Do Something. Org

23 Fast Facts about Women’s Oppression Worldwide (Blog)

10 Facts about Women in the World … World Food Programme . com

Did you know: There is also an International Men’s Day, which is held on the 19th of November

Which women do you admire and why? 

Taking a step backward…Step FORWARD!

setback-set-up

Maybe not the best way to set up a Monday, but I felt like it was a point that I wanted to talk about, of something that happened to me over the weekend. I felt like I had taken a huge step back.

*Just warning…If you do suffer from a anxiety and you’re having a bad day, this post may not be for you today. Even though there is a positive message behind it. I don’t want to be responsible for any triggering.*

Friday morning i had the day off of work and with how well I had been on Thursday, I had decided to head out and do some shopping on the Friday morning. Lately I have been ordering pretty much everything online, because I don’t know how I am going to be from one day to the other.

Taking you back to last year, after an traumatic incident, I have developed an, well I think, a really odd form of anxiety. Too break it down, because someone, who will remain nameless at this point, decided that no, they could not pull over (even though we went past a McDonald’s, a gas station AND a public toilet) and let me out to get to a toilet. I spent 20 minutes basically trapped in a car, actually NEEDING to get out. After the person had left me hanging all day while I drunk tea all day and no food. We were supposed to go clothes shopping, but they had to do some things in the morning. Which was fine, but once it got to 3pm, I was starting to get annoyed. I didn’t know if we were eating, was I supposed to eat first. I was actually in the middle of a text to let them not to bother, when they finally showed up. Our clothes stores close at 5pm on the weekend.

So giving that they finally turned up, we basically run out of the door, which was a bad idea. I didn’t go to the toilet before we left and I had been drinking all day, to fill my stomach. I had been filling my bladder instead.Since then whenever I am in a car, or travelling. I get anxious and feel like I need to get to a toilet badly. I have been getting better with help of hypnotherapy.

I was actually getting better, until a couple of weeks ago. I had one bad night, where I don’t even know what happened, but my stomach hurt and I just had to go. Then it feels like it’s gotten worse, with a rare good day here and there, and just this Friday morning I nearly ended up crying in a shopping mall. It was horrible and I hate it.

I felt SO fed up, I’m tired of fighting it because it’s feels so stupid. When I do go, even in the woes of panic, nothing happens…I can’t even begin to tell you how frustrating it is, how tiring it is. I can’t just do things on a whim and even when I plan things, it still doesn’t always work out. I’m alright coming back and forth from work and sometimes travelling to my partners house I do really well.

Then I have mornings like I did Friday…

I try not to be too hard on myself, I’m doing well every well else, just more necessarily when I have a “duty”.

 That’s the whole thing though, I am so tired of it, that I now have a plan. I had stopped doing all the things that had helped when I started to get better, because I swear just that one bad moment has seemingly ruined it all.

  1. So instead of doing it once a week, like I was before. I’m not going to be mediating and listening to my hypnosis tapes, at LEAST every second day. Definitely the night before long trips.
  2. I have to promise to myself to not be so hard on myself.
  3. When I go shopping by myself, if I need to leave, then I need to leave…It’s alright
  4. I have to start walking my dog again, because that was what honestly what started to heal me before. Whether that be a 5 minute walk or a 30 minute walk, I handle what I can handle. That’s what I used to do before. The walks got longer and longer over time.
  5. No coffee before long drives.
  6. Mostly, it’s okay to admit I am not okay, but I will be. I am not going to let this defeat me.
  7. Trying to figure out a way to calm my mind down before I get into a car, especially with those unexpected trips.

I would actually really like any ideas, or any suggestions about any of the above, or if you want to share…Please feel free…No judgement!

Another old age question…Do long distance relationships work?

I got another one!

As someone who once was in a long distance relationship on and once off again for 3 years, I feel like I’ve delved into this enough to write about it.

Short answer: Yes, they can work.

However, there are different factors have to consider.

  1. You have to both want it to work. Just with any relationship, not just long distance, means that both partners have to want it to work.
  2. You still have to have each others back. This was such a huge problem for me. My now ex partner liked this girl who hated me (I still, 7 years later, have never actually met this girl). So I felt very alone, which is dangerous in a long distance relationship. The ONLY reason I knew he wasn’t cheating on me with her was because I knew that she didn’t like him. It was weird, she liked him using him as a pretend boyfriend, as she called him, but wasn’t interested in him. I felt like an idiot having to fight with my own boyfriend about how another girl was using him, like he was only my friend.
  3. You still have to make an effort. Especially with today’s technology, there’s no real reason to not face time or to text. Although you may not be able to afford the most expensive technology, you can still do sweet things. I used to like writing letters to my partner, for example.
  4. You HAVE to see each other for a good amount of time at least once or twice a year AND you both have to visit the other. This can be harder with international relationships. But my ex partner never once came out to Australia, it was always the other way around. Even when I offered to pay for him to come out here.
  5. Make sure when you go visit you have somewhere to go in case something “bad” happens. You don’t have to break up with someone when you are in different places, it can happen when you’re together. Make sure you have a back up plan, in case it goes wrong…Trust me. I found out years later that my ex had wanted to break up with me at one point while I was over there, but didn’t because he was worried I had nowhere else to go (which was not true).
  6. Remember their friends may not be yours! This was a hard lesson for me. Some of my ex’s friends I made good friendships over there and still am friends with them, and when I can afford too, I’ll go back and see them. Others were definitely a lot more “fake”.

I don’t “care”

There is something that really intrigues me and I would really love to hear your opinions on it or if you are one these people who do this, to please explain what this need this.

What is with this seemingly big NEED that some people have to write on news articles or ‘entertainment’ type articles about how they “don’t care” they have “real news to read” and is this article really “newsworthy”. What are they doing there then? Personally, when I see an article I’m not interested in I skip pass it. I actually asked someone this question because I find it really intriguing, that whole thought process. Of creating traffic for something you don’t care about, rather than creating traffic and focusing on the things you do. Then boasting about how you don’t care, like it’s some great feat and accomplishment that you just HAD to write that?

I am like 99% sure no one is making these people read these articles. So why are they even reading these articles for? Do they not have enough to care about? Do they have a lot of free time that they have the time to focus on things they don’t care about?

I have always said that the Kardashians are being kept in our public eye, not because of their fans, but because of their haters. They are making their numbers and money from their haters. For example, the amount of articles I have seen people comment and re-share articles about them is literally in the thousands…but…they “hate” them? Yet my brother and his friends seem to really like them, yet I rarely hear them talk about them. I only found that they like them last year, when my brother was over for a visit and there was a Kardashian marathon on the tv…We had to watch it all day -.-

For those who may not know what I mean by “traffic”. It means when you click on a article online, or you comment online, you are creating “traffic” that the website keeps tracks of to see, what people are interested in and what the public is talking about. They don’t care what you deem “newsworthy” or what “real news” is, or if you like the article or not. What they focus on is the numbers that each article receives. So by you “not caring” and clicking on a article you don’t “care” about, it creates interests and so that site will continue to talk about it.

Even take WordPress, how many of us have edited our Blogs and write about topics that interest people more than what we actually want to write about, based on the views, discussions and likes we have gotten for our posts.

Please discuss!