Never judge your friends or loved ones by how you think…Never Ever

Now you may be asking why have I placed this under “Single in a small City” category?

I feel like it’s important how you treat your friends when you are single and they are in a relationship.

Your friends are not dating someone to hurt YOU…If they are, then they are pretty terrible friend really.

(I don’t like Lena Dunham by the way, this is just a really good quote)

I was told a few years ago by a friend that she extremely jealous of us (her “friends”) being happy in relationships when she is single. Which is why she only told us that her boyfriend was abusing her…I was the only one single at the time…This is just a bad way of thinking, this is not a mentally healthy way to be and to think.

Everybody on this planet walks a different path, very rarely two people will follow the exact same path. How you are when you’re single will be different from how someone else would be single…Which is why you cannot put your thoughts onto somebody else. That’s not fair. Just because my “friend” gets jealous when she’s single and we’re not…Doesn’t mean I’m anything like that. It’s not always about you.

I would hope that my readers are not the type of people who would think this. I can’t imagine why my old friend would have thought I’d be happier to hear that she’s being abused, and since I lived in a different state, there was little I could do. Or that she even had that to talk about in the first place. I don’t think like that, never have.

My point is, if you are the type of person who gets this jealous…That you’d rather hear your friend is getting abused, than hear that they are happy…Please work on this. This is not healthy. This is not a healthy way to think. There is nothing wrong with being single. There’s no shame to it, embrace it, enjoy the freedoms that come along with it.

Otherwise, you too, could end up with an abuser.

I personally would rather be single for the rest of my life, than someone who is abusive towards me.

Work on this before you get into another relationship.

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Judge for Yourself

Judge for Yourself…(I say yes they can ~.^)

 Uploaded by: Stuff Mom Never Told You – HowStuffWorks

Published on 29 Nov 2014

Cristen discuss how toxic friendships can be verbally and emotionally abusive and why those relationships probably aren’t worth trying to save.

It’s time to say Goodbye

I had a very Oprah, light-bulb, ah -uh moment over the weekend when I was trying to explain to someone about a past relationship, where it was the room mate who was abusive and bully to me, rather than my partner. However, my partner looked me dead in the face when I finally asked for help after having a shoe flown at my head “Please do something” I kid you not my then partner looked me in the face and said

“You deserve it and you have it coming”

As much as I hate it, and even though I left straight away after that comment, and it’s been years. That comment still stays with me. However, that’s for another post.

I met my “that partner” through mutual friends who were still my friends every after we broke up, but we are pretty much no longer friends. After thinking about it for a while I’ve come to realise that the reason my partners comments have shocked me less and less over the years is because of this group of “friends” It has recently occurred to me why my partner felt that was the best thing he could do. My ex-partner is such a chicken, like he’s definitely a weakling.For him, instead of doing anything, because he “had to live” with this guy, it was just easier to blame me. It’s occurred to me recently the entire group is like that.

I have un-followed all of them on my Facebook and have for nearly the whole year now. I am starting to think of unfriending them in the new year. I have been publicly humiliated because I didn’t want to date someone, I have been told that headbands look stupid on me. Someone told me something disrespectful about their sister and best friend, and yet I wasn’t invited to the party.

I have had my phone yanked out of my hand, checking up on a girlfriend, because that’s being rude and unsociable. Yet, the girl right next to them, was playing on her phone because she’s “bored”, the whole time I was being berated and being put down, she was there, playing on her phone, which is why I initially thought it’d be okay to check up on my girlfriend. That whole situation is an exact representation of my “friendship” with these people. They’ll treat what they think you’re worth. How is that not a form of emotional bullying, borderline psychological abuse?

With it coming up to New Years Eve and with people thinking about who they want to bring in the new year in, who they want to start off the year. Please, REALLY think about it. Think about being your own best friend. Please think about who you really truly believe in your gut who deserves to be with you on a brand new journey.