It’s time to say Goodbye

I had a very Oprah, light-bulb, ah -uh moment over the weekend when I was trying to explain to someone about a past relationship, where it was the room mate who was abusive and bully to me, rather than my partner. However, my partner looked me dead in the face when I finally asked for help after having a shoe flown at my head “Please do something” I kid you not my then partner looked me in the face and said

“You deserve it and you have it coming”

As much as I hate it, and even though I left straight away after that comment, and it’s been years. That comment still stays with me. However, that’s for another post.

I met my “that partner” through mutual friends who were still my friends every after we broke up, but we are pretty much no longer friends. After thinking about it for a while I’ve come to realise that the reason my partners comments have shocked me less and less over the years is because of this group of “friends” It has recently occurred to me why my partner felt that was the best thing he could do. My ex-partner is such a chicken, like he’s definitely a weakling.For him, instead of doing anything, because he “had to live” with this guy, it was just easier to blame me. It’s occurred to me recently the entire group is like that.

I have un-followed all of them on my Facebook and have for nearly the whole year now. I am starting to think of unfriending them in the new year. I have been publicly humiliated because I didn’t want to date someone, I have been told that headbands look stupid on me. Someone told me something disrespectful about their sister and best friend, and yet I wasn’t invited to the party.

I have had my phone yanked out of my hand, checking up on a girlfriend, because that’s being rude and unsociable. Yet, the girl right next to them, was playing on her phone because she’s “bored”, the whole time I was being berated and being put down, she was there, playing on her phone, which is why I initially thought it’d be okay to check up on my girlfriend. That whole situation is an exact representation of my “friendship” with these people. They’ll treat what they think you’re worth. How is that not a form of emotional bullying, borderline psychological abuse?

With it coming up to New Years Eve and with people thinking about who they want to bring in the new year in, who they want to start off the year. Please, REALLY think about it. Think about being your own best friend. Please think about who you really truly believe in your gut who deserves to be with you on a brand new journey.

Things that Grinds my Gears

I just wanted to start this post off by saying that it’s a bit of a sensitive topic and probably a little controversial.

PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION!

I hope Cee’s Photography is having a fantastic break! I guess this post is like sharing a part of my world. This post will give you a little bit of an insight into how I think.

There is something that I would have to say is my “trigger”. If you don’t know what a trigger is, it’s really simple to understand. A trigger is a subject matter that no matter how good of a mood you are in, or how confident you are feeling. A trigger is something that makes you instantly upset and/or mad.

One of my triggers is when a woman will say something like that men cannot possibly be abused or raped, because they are bigger than us.

I can’t even begin to tell these women what is wrong with this statement, and how dangerous it is! I know for a fact and through personal experience that most men already have issues when it comes to expressing themselves and this is why the male suicide rate is so high. You don’t even have to be physically bigger to rape and abuse someone. They can be drugged, for example. How many times have we heard in rape cases of people being drugged and completely knocked out at the time? You can’t fight chemicals.

Highest Australian suicide rate in 13 years driven by men aged 40 to 44 – The Guardian (March 2016)

As for not being abused because men can just “fight back”. Yes, I guess that some probably could, but that is not how abuse works. Abusers of any gender don’t start by hitting someone straight away. Abusers will bring you down mentally and spiritually, most of the time you don’t even realise it’s happening. Not all men are bigger than us (not that that’s important). What about men who are in relationships with other men? What about men who were abused by family members when they’re little?

What made me the most saddest about this trigger was I saw these comments, which made me set off was on a Facebook page for White Ribbon. For those who don’t know who White Ribbon is, it’s a cause in Australia for stopping violence against Women. I am clearly for stopping violence against woman and children. This doesn’t mean though you can just say “it doesn’t happen to men, they don’t understand” because I guarantee they do. It saddens me to see someone say they’ve gone through being abused, but according to them men just don’t get it.

I guarantee they do.

#ItsOkayToTalk