Grains of Salt

I have heard this expression twice now in cases where it should be alarming and a LOT more serious too people.

The first time was those Republican mothers, when the Brett Kavanaugh case, and they said “what boy hasn’t committed sexual assaulted, it’s what they do”.

Oh, okay then.

The second has been with Depp, and his little sociopaths’ stan’s saying “He was just venting to a friend” I don’t know how much you know about the case. These “just venting” text to his friend Paul Bettany, who I’ve also gone off of. Where horrific and quiet frankly, those texts should have been enough. It’s that whole “it’s just locker room” talk mentality. I’m going to post a couple of these texts, word for word. And tell me if you think they should be taken with a “grain of salt”.

“Let’s drown her before we burn her!!! I will f— her burnt corpse afterwards to make sure she’s dead.”

 “Hopefully that c—‘s rotting corpse is decomposing in the f—–g trunk of a Honda Civic!!”

Depp’s testimony in mind in which he denied knowledge of texts that were presented, including a message about sex with a woman that read: “I NEED. I WANT. I TAKE.” 

Too be an abuser, you don’t need to physically touch someone. I hope we all understand this. Again, this is a safe space. In my life I have dealt with a lot of emotional and mental abuse. Mainly from my Dad, so believe me when I say that what Depp has said IS abusive, and, quietly frankly is psychopathic. Depp, Kavanaugh, Trump are ALL abusers, in powers of positions, No matter what their little stan’s say.

The sad thing is the majority of people who support these abusers, are white middle-aged straight women.

The most important sign that the victims of these “men” are, in fact, victims. Is the fact, that once again, I don’t mind talking about. The actual professionals, the people who run abuse centers, most, if not all of the women who started #MeToo have spoken OUT about what Depp has done. They have spoken AGAINST, Depp, Trump, Kavanaugh etc. I think THEY might be onto something. Not these “women” who leave out information and just plain lie about things.

We’re in 2022 people, grow up!

How many more “grains of salt” are you willingly to give these “men”? Surely by NOW they should be running out.

And one more time, just because Trump, Kavanaugh and Depp continue to get away with their behaviour, except for those two times Depp was legally called a wife beater. Does not mean, they are good people. That is the whole point of power.

Hindsight

Hindsight is 20/20.

How many times have we heard that one before? Is it because we always hear about that with abuse cases? Someone said something to me yesterday, “someone doesn’t become abusive overnight” No they don’t, but in every single case of abuse I’ve ever seen. When the family and friends look back, yep, they realise things.

Most of the time, people don’t want to see it. The people who can see it, usually become cut off, since the victim always cut off those people.

No one becomes abusive overnight, but if you actually LOOK and LISTEN, it’s more than likely the case, it’s always been there. I can’t honestly think of a case I’ve heard of or seen, where if you actually PAY ATTENTION, the signs are not there. They always are. Abuse victims very rarely will yell out “I’M BEING ABUSED”. But they are there, IF you pay attention.

Rowling is another one. When you actually look BACK, you can see how problematic issues have followed her for literal YEARS. And it’s always “I didn’t mean it like that” or she’d threaten to sue people. You can’t even make a joke about the things she has said, without her threatening to sue you. One of her charities was started with Baroness Nicholson, who isn’t just anti-LGBTQIA, she’s also anti-abortion.

In China, they took all the homosexual “moments” out in FB, two lines were cut, that was it. Not really gay representation, lol.

Speaking of which, my Mum has NOW finally decided to go to the Doctors, after months of random coughing. She has had trouble breathing, so NOW is taking a PCR test to go to the Drs -.- Do you know how long I’ve been telling her to get it checked out for?

World Elder Abuse Day

Bit of a depressing topic, especially for a Wednesday. An important topic all the same.

The purpose of WEAAD is to provide an opportunity for communities around the world to promote a better understanding of abuse and neglect of older persons by raising awareness of the cultural, social, economic and demographic processes affecting elder abuse and neglect.

World Elder Abuse Awareness Day, 2022

Break

I am strongly thinking about closing my social media’s for a while. This isn’t a “look at me” post. Today, we learnt that even when an abuser is verified as an abuser, victims are STILL not safe. They are not allowed to speak about it. Especially when people want to sleep with the abuser. You know sometimes I really do think that America, deserves Trump.

And now all of Depp’s friends that have been accused of abuse, are suing their victims. People like Trump Jr, like Chris De’lia who was accused of harassing minors, are crowing and celebrating.

If Depp wanted to talk about his abuse, go for it. But I hope he gets sued for everything. America is NOT safe. And a warning, if you lie to my face about me saying Heard is not an abuser, you will get cut out. Heard is an abuser. Here’s the thing. Heard is not the one stopping Depp, the person in power here, from talking about himself.

The ONLY comfort I’ve taken from this is that all the legal analyst’s have said that Jury was wrong, and that they either didn’t care or didn’t look at the evidence.

America, you are mother fucking screwed!

So on top of Marilyn Manson suing his victims … “”Hundreds” of domestic violence survivors have already retracted victim statements & pulled out from court cases as a result of watching the trial”

So PLEASE stop telling people “she did it too” No one has said she didn’t, that’s NOT the point.

The donkey told the tiger, “The grass is blue.”

The tiger replied, “No, the grass is green .”

The discussion became heated, and the two decided to submit the issue to arbitration, so they approached the lion.

As they approached the lion on his throne, the donkey started screaming, ′′Your Highness, isn’t it true that the grass is blue?”

The lion replied, “If you believe it is true, the grass is blue.”

The donkey rushed forward and continued, “The tiger disagrees with me, contradicts me and annoys me. Please punish him.”

The king then declared, ′′The tiger will be punished with 3 days of silence.”

The donkey jumped with joy and went on his way, content and repeating, ′′The grass is blue, the grass is blue…”

The tiger asked the lion, “Your Majesty, why have you punished me, after all, the grass is green?”

The lion replied, ′′You’ve known and seen the grass is green.”

The tiger asked, ′′So why do you punish me?”

The lion replied, “That has nothing to do with the question of whether the grass is blue or green. The punishment is because 𝙞𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙙𝙚𝙜𝙧𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙖 𝙗𝙧𝙖𝙫𝙚❟ 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙤 𝙬𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙜𝙪𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙨𝙨 and on top of that, you came and bothered me with that question just to validate something you already knew was true!”

The biggest waste of time is arguing with the fool and fanatic who doesn’t care about truth or reality, but only the victory of his beliefs and illusions. Never waste time on discussions that make no sense. There are people who, for all the evidence presented to them, do not have the ability to understand. Others who are blinded by ego, hatred and resentment, and the only thing that they want is to be right even if they aren’t.

When IGNORANCE SCREAMS, intelligence moves on.

~Author Unknown

Read the words I write

Okay, one more time. People are NOT getting this. Johnny Depp has been found guilty TWICE, in a court of Law, of wife beating. He IS an abuser.

Again, this does not mean, Amber Heard is NOT an abuser. This is isn’t, one cancels the other out. They’re BOTH abusers and they BOTH have been abused.

If you can NOT understand that concept, do NOT talk about it.

This is NOT a case, that will say whether or not Depp is not an abuser. He has already been found GUILTY of being an abuser, TWICE. We all KNOW that Heard abused as well. If you can’t understand the basics of mutual abuse. This is NOT a television show, where you get to determine anything. Everything has already been determined.

Also, Johnny Depp is not going to sleep with you.

This is the last time I am writing about this.

This is not a television episode of Law and Order, this is real life folks. For the love of God, please think about this from a point of view that doesn’t involve you having sex with Johnny Depp. Think about how Vanessa Paradis, the mother of his children was thinking when his text came out as calling her an “extortionist French cunt”, or heck, think about his kids!. He must have known that was coming out. Think about how you would feel if someone you loved, had texted about setting you alight, and burning you alive. Jesus, think about that poor dog, as he shoved it’s head out the window!

This isn’t “hearsay” this is WHY he WAS found guilty, twice, of being a wife beater.

I actually do fear for JD’s life. I think he’s going to go the way of Michael Jackson, Prince, Brittany Murphy. Dying, way before they should have, dying because no one would tell them no.

As it was said in court. Depp was the one turning (or not in some cases) up to work drunk, high, not prepared and not professional, choosing to sue people over fulfilling his contracts. That has nothing to do with Heard, she’s not his keeper. Quiet frankly, she was right in what she said. That she stood up for abuse survivors and she was abused again, by the culture. She was absolutely right. Quiet frankly, there’s a lot of people proving her right.

It’s one of the reasons I don’t want to talk/write about this anymore. No matter the outcome, he’s already established as a wife beater. Depp and Heard are pretty toxic, but I do think that Heard, while not coming out of this smelling of roses. She does appear to be only one who is trying to live a life. Reminder, as well, Depp is the one continuing this. He is STILL trying to control the narrative, and lot of people are letting him.

Thursday Theories – The Never-Ending Cycle


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My mum said to me “I know you’re a bit sensitive about Meghan Markle. Why is that?”

Good question Mum.

Meghan Markle’s Dad, is exactly what I think my Dad would do, in the same situation. We haven’t told anyone this. If and when I get married, we already have a backup mind if my Dad pulls, what I call now a “Thomas Markle”.

This never ending cycle of people saying that children HAVE to respect their parents. Has to GOT to stop, especially when the child, decides it has to stop. Especially when that child’s parent, is in fact toxic and abusive.

My Dads dad, was the same. Abusive, and yet my Dad “loved him” so he kept telling us that we had to respect him. And now my Dad does the same thing that he’s Dad does. According to a lot of Meghan Markle haters, when I had had enough of my Dad, not only abusing me, but he also told a huge whooper about me, too me. I stopped talking to him. Apparently that’s not okay. Narrator: It was okay.

It seems to be coming from mainly Boomers, who seem to think that they turned out fine. If you think abusing your child (no matter how older they are) is alright, then NO you didn’t turn out “fine”. As that is not fine. I was never beaten as a child, smacked but never beaten, but the emotional and mental abuse. Yeah, I’m not fine now. It’s taken a long slog to be as “fine” as I am.

You have the power to stop the cycle of abuse, by actively taking yourself out of that circle/cycle. You can still see and talk with your family, but you have to learn the power of “NO”.

Repeating myself.

Oh I hate people wanting “Justice” for someone just because they’re attracted to them. People don’t know them, they just find them attractive. Women are honestly the worst at this. Ted Bundy springs to mind. I don’t know why, but we just are.

Today I couldn’t figure out what all this #JusticeforJohnny was about. Then I found out that Amber Heard admitted to throwing things at him. Which somehow, for some reason. Automatically excluded Depp from doing it too…Except it doesn’t.

It makes me personally angry when I see or read things like that. Mainly because before my parents spilt up, my Mum actually threw something at my Dad. Does that mean she’s the abuser, not my Dad. He’s suddenly excused from his behaviours? No. It quiet frankly pisses me off reading these stupid girls “Change.Org” crap.

I have always felt that they were as bad as each other, and quiet frankly I wish they both would just go away and let it go. Johnny Depp didn’t lose work because Heard rang up and demand that he not get anymore work. He lost work, because of HIMSELF…I mean, come on! Does it even seem logical that in Hollywood, HOLLYWOOD, Heard could just ring and demand that Depp didn’t get any more work because Heard, someone not really heard of…said so?

No, we’ve all seen the video. We’ve all seen the interviews were he was clearly on something.

Depp and Heard “stans” give abuse a bad name.

Friendship breakups 1 of 2

*So I was going to write a really long post, but I thought that it may bore people to read my point of view. So I’m going to write it in two parts. One talking about a basis of where I’m coming from with friendship break ups. The other will be about how to spot if you’re in a toxic friendship and how to get out of it. Purely from my personal experience*

I was replying to an answer on Quora (Quora is fabulous by the way). Someone asked the question about how do you know when your relationship/partner is toxic. I started off by saying that I think they already knew the answer. Normally I would respond with just that. However, since the other people who answered were about how wonderful their partners are…

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I decided to talk about how the hardest, but most toxic relationships I have had trouble letting go of are, which are friendships. Romantic relationships have been much easier for myself to let go of, especially when it’s right. All I needed was one toxic romantic relationship that I hung onto, to realise how I should just let them go.

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Why Do People Believe Narcissists Rather Than Their Victims?

The most obvious answer is, this is what Narcissists are really good at. It’s what they do.

For myself, when I wanted to start letting go was when I got into an argument with my now ex-best friend about her on again off again abusive relationship. It didn’t start off as that but it deteriorated. It was when she “slipped” and admitted that the reason we hear about all his abuse was because I was single and when she’s single she doesn’t like hearing how happy we are. That comment was my ah ha moment. It disturbed me to no end, what also disturbed me though was the other two were not disturbed at all that she’s only happy when we’re miserable.

I’ve started to realise that it is possible to have or be in an abusive friendship. We put so much emphasis on romantic relationships that we forget that the relationships that we have the longest can possibly be abusive as well. Family, friendship etc. Every time I’ve heard of what people who are abusers have done to other people, I’ve started to realise that it is extremely possible to have a friend that’s abusive towards you. I mean why not, right? Why think that abusers are only relegated to family and romantic. I’m sure they don’t.

It’s why I think we find it so hard to let go of friendships. Because socially, we’re really only told about abuse is abuse when it’s domestic or romantic. Why not friends?

When you take a look at incidents of manipulation of gas-lighting…I wonder how many of us can relate to a friend who has done this to us?

There is good news though, once you recognise the signs. You then get the choice to leave or stay. I think that is one difference with friendships, once you have decided to leave, you tend to be able too. You’ll probably get gossip and you’ll probably lose friends, but friendships tend to be easier to leave than other types of relationships.

Knowledge is ALWAYS powerful!

 

MAFS AU

Probably not the best way to finish off a Friday. I just have to write about this sham of a show!

The “experts” are probably the worst experts of any experts that I have ever seen. A little story to start explaining what kind of “experts” these people are. A couple of years ago when my now ex best friend had broken up with her abusive boyfriend for the third time and she was considering getting back together with him for a fourth. Now, she told us that the therapist she was seeing had told her “Well he clearly loves you, because he keeps coming back”. So she took this as “Well I’m going to take him back then”.

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At the time I honestly thought that my ex-friend had to be lying, what kind of therapist would say something like that? Well now these “experts” have made me believe that the Therapist did actually say that, and that my friend wasn’t lying. I kind of wonder what my ex-friend says about this shows, because if it’s positive, then she’s a damn hypocrite. Anyways,

These experts are so horrible, I can’t even explain it. Too watch these “couples” abuse and bully and torment each other, and THEN the “experts” for SOME god only knows what reasons pick on the actual victims…It’s beyond angry. Watching what was happening, was making me literally shake with angry at the experts. For the first time in my life, I actually put a complaint in about a television show.

ABUSE AND BULLYING ARE NOT TELEVISION SHOWS!

Too lose friends because I stood up to the person bullying/abusing them and telling my ex-friends they can do and deserve better. Too watch these “experts” gaslight and get upset at the victims for stupidity. For example, one of the brides, is I think, a complete sociopath. When the “couple” were talking with the “experts” for some reason they just let the bride demean, bully and outright mentally abuse the Groom and THEN tell him off for him calling the Bride a “C” word. Now I don’t like that word, but this Bride totally is! If you looked up the word “C” in the dictionary, there would be her picture. This bride is the type of “woman” who gives the rest of us a VERY bad name. These experts give us women a VERY bad name, when they let her off. If it was reversed, there would be outrage from these “experts”.

It was interesting to watch the comments on Twitter as well though, as both Feminists and MRA (Men’s Right Activists) agreed that this Bride is a “C”, for some reason though the “experts” are the only ones who didn’t seem to see it.

The week after the experts then started (for some reason) to seemingly be gas-lighting ANOTHER bride, who was the victim. The bride wanted to leave, and the “experts” made her feel bad for it! I could not believe it! Now I know that this show is probably filmed a little in advance, but DAMN!

#mafs #mafsau

What truly irritates me about this show the most though. The first season, came out around the time that Australia was voting to make gay marriage, legal. So you have these bigots going around saying…

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Yet, a show is coming into people’s living rooms every night. Where people don’t know who they are “marrying”, and then I don’t think a single couple have even worked out to date. You have “experts” allowing grown adults to abuse and bully, each other on television, which is coming into peoples livings room. If one partner doesn’t want to leave, then their  “lucky” other half gets to stay, even if they don’t want? Every single night Monday-Thursday for at least an hour.

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No you don’t

Now bear with me…I don’t think this is going to make sense. 

No to people who use the METOO movement” set you off…ie Amber Heard “abused Johnny Depp”…We’ve all seen the video! I don’t believe that Amber Heard is using the “Me Too” movement. People who “go after” people you find attractive, but don’t actually know, set you off. Johnny Depp is a grown ass “man” I don’t care if his mother just died, I don’t care if Amber was winding him up…YOU WALK AWAY! JOHNNY DEPP IS AN ADULT!

You know why we believe her? (Well I do) I believe alcohol and drugs change people, I believe that losing the love of life, changes you, I believe losing your parents, changes you. If he’s SO wonderful, why did Pardis leave him? We just don’t leave amazing men…We just don’t. AND instead of just owing up to what he has clearly done and his part in the marriage. Even if he was to put it down to, it was a volatile relationship and he owned his part in it. Nope, he keeps going on about it, like he’s completely the victim alone, and is now suing Heard…For what? Proves what? If she did, doesn’t mean he didn’t, does it? Heard is not sitting around suing him, she’s out there doing actual work. I think she’s accepted the relationship for what it was and is moving on.

Depp isn’t getting work or isn’t looking bad because of Heard, he’s getting a bad reputation for being a 55 year old “man” and owning up too NOTHING.

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I absolutely believe that that particular relationship was toxic and volatile.