Single Awareness Day

Apparently in Australia we have Single Awareness Day held on February the 15th. I’m not exactly sure why it’s called “Awareness”. I am sure that people who are single, are aware of this.

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However my post is not to go on about that.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being Single. We have such a cultural thing where we are made to believe that we “have” to be in a relationship. I think I’ve been lucky in that a lot of the women in my family, the biggest influences have been my mother and my Grandmother. Both of them chose to get divorced and have remained single for well over a decade now. This day and age, especially if you don’t have children and even if you do. It can work for you being single.

When I was single I use to go out with other single friends on Valentines Day, and it was great! We’d go to dinners have a couple of drinks and see a movie…Have you ever seen an independent film drunk? BEST THING EVER! They are so serious and you are so drunk

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(Not that I’m encouraging alcoholism!)

I used to have this friend who was desperate to be in a relationship and so she’d end up with horrible guys. Valentines Day she would get so depressed if she was single and I never really truly understood why someone would get so down on Valentines Day. Too me Valentines Day is just another Day. It’s not like a Christmas or a Birthday or something along those days. We don’t get a public holiday for it…Anywhere. Apart from coworkers no one is really going to know if you’re single or not, so why is it so important?

Remember get a group of other single friends/family and:

  • Get drunk
  • Have dinner
  • See a film…A fun one…No romantic ones…Even comedies!
  • Have a laugh
  • Only go out if you actually even want to go out.
  • Have a singles movies night inside or in a cinema

Never judge your friends or loved ones by how you think…Never Ever

Now you may be asking why have I placed this under “Single in a small City” category?

I feel like it’s important how you treat your friends when you are single and they are in a relationship.

Your friends are not dating someone to hurt YOU…If they are, then they are pretty terrible friend really.

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(I don’t like Lena Dunham by the way, this is just a really good quote)

I was told a few years ago by a friend that she extremely jealous of us (her “friends”) being happy in relationships when she is single. Which is why she only told us that her boyfriend was abusing her…I was the only one single at the time…This is just a bad way of thinking, this is not a mentally healthy way to be and to think.

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Everybody on this planet walks a different path, very rarely two people will follow the exact same path. How you are when you’re single will be different from how someone else would be single…Which is why you cannot put your thoughts onto somebody else. That’s not fair. Just because my “friend” gets jealous when she’s single and we’re not…Doesn’t mean I’m anything like that. It’s not always about you.

I would hope that my readers are not the type of people who would think this. I can’t imagine why my old friend would have thought I’d be happier to hear that she’s being abused, and since I lived in a different state, there was little I could do. Or that she even had that to talk about in the first place. I don’t think like that, never have.

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My point is, if you are the type of person who gets this jealous…That you’d rather hear your friend is getting abused, than hear that they are happy…Please work on this. This is not healthy. This is not a healthy way to think. There is nothing wrong with being single. There’s no shame to it, embrace it, enjoy the freedoms that come along with it.

Otherwise, you too, could end up with an abuser.

I personally would rather be single for the rest of my life, than someone who is abusive towards me.

Work on this before you get into another relationship.

Those “first” crushes

When I say “first crushes” I am not talking about your very first crush in your childhood, or later in life…I’m not here to judge!

I am talking about those first crushes after you’ve been through a horrible break up and you suddenly meet someone and you can feel all those butterflies and suddenly incredibly so insecure.

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You feel like you can’t talk again, you feel like you don’t know what you’re doing. You feel like you understand those “love songs” again. The songs that used to make you feel sad and depressed and missing your ex, suddenly  don’t matter anymore. You’re suddenly feeling happy again and sometimes you feel a little guilty, because surely you have to be miserable…Right? No Way! You just want to tell everyone!

Where you can’t sleep, not because you’re thinking sad thoughts, but because you’re too busy how you’re going to get them to notice…You start talking to your friends about the littlest details about them.

It’s okay to be single…at Prom

Formals or Proms as they are called in Australia are an interesting time in a young persons life. No matter what year of schooling that they may be in. There is SO much pressure to have the perfect “dance”. The perfect dress, the perfect “ride”…and of course the perfect date…But do you NEED to even have a date?

I went to both of my senior formal/proms without a date and I ended up having the most fun. Here’s my list of reasons why:

  • I didn’t have to worry about my date “looking” at other girls. Apparently that was a big issue at both of them. Especially for my best friend whose then boyfriend got depressed over how his gorgeous his ex looked (they subsequently got back together a couple of week later and now my best friend has gotten rid of all those photos).
  • I could dance to any song that I wanted too. Without having someone else sulk.
  • All the slow couple dances song, I just ate my food and most of the guys either complained the whole time, or just didn’t dance anyways.
  • I still got to take photos with everybody and actually missed a group photo because I was dancing having a lot of fun! Funnily enough all the “couples” had nothing else too do.
  • The only couples that actually seemed to have any fun were the ones that had been together for a while. In fact, at both my Formals the most happier couples had been together over both the Year 11 and Year 12 Formals consecutively.
  • I didn’t have to “colour match” with anyone else either, I could wear whatever colour I wanted, and whatever style of dress too!

Every love is different

I like watching the Daily Pop when I can…I just enjoy the hosts, they seem like pretty alright people. For being in the entertainment industry they seem to be pretty both sided and that’s gotta be tough.

One of the topics they were talking about was an interview with A-Rod whose dating J-Lo and how he said it was definitely different from their other relationships. Which then opened up a conversation about love and how each relationship will be different.

I have to agree with the statement that especially in the beginning of a relationship, a lot of the times we feel “this is different” “this is it” and then over time it just kind of disappears…But I want to talk about love for a little bit. I’ve been in love probably three times. I’ve loved more about that. It’s an interesting though to be in love someone and just kind of love someone.

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The most truest thing is though every love is different. I actually had an ex’s new girlfriend ask me if I thought he was ever going to grow up and she was thinking of breaking up with him. I explained to her that every relationship is different, how he was with me, will be different how he was with her. They’re married now, so I figure they worked it out,lol.

  • People have different life experiences.
  • People grow differently.

The Swag

I found something completely amazing for all the single people.

SingleSwag – Home

Oh my goodness it has so amazing things in it as well. It’s one of those box things that seem to be huge these days. Where you pay a certain amount of month, either as a one off or a subscription, depending on what you want. Then once a month you get a box full of goodies, and they are usually pretty good.

I happened to find the Single Swag through a blog that I used to read a lot, but stopped reading after the writer seemed to almost attack their readers. This was because she had just finally decided to break away from her ex…finally…and then he was nice to her nice, just the once, and she wanted to go back. A lot of people were asking “Why, why would you do that” and I think she felt kind of attacked by it (even though I wanted to know why as well).

I decided to see where she was at as I went to delete a lot of things from my computer and I must have saved a blog of hers, because I went back and found it again. Much better than before and that’s how I found “single swag”. The Single Woman Blog – Not Gonna Happen

“Stolen”

I saw something over the past week that has sort of bugged me a lot because it’s not just an single incident. It seems that when someone cheats and runs off with another person. People (mainly women it seems) tend to place the blame on the person that their partner cheated on them with. They were “stolen” or “taken” by that other person.

Now what got my attention was that someone posted a meme about how Blac Chyna exacted her revenge on Kylie Kardashain for stealing Tyga from her, by using Rob’s brother. This post isn’t not about that family, but about the situation in general. There were lots of reasons that it bothered for the list of reasons below.

  • No one can be stolen or taken from anyone unless they want too be. If they are that is called “kidnapping”. REPEAT.
  • Kylie was only 16/17 when she was first dating Tyga, which means that she was underage when they were first dating. So this “man” was stolen by a child. What a man! I can see why you’d what that back! (sarcasm intended).
  • Blac Chyna (if true) was trying to get back at Kylie, was attacking a child, instead of the “man” who LEFT her.
  • That whole family is a mess. Lot of insecurity there.

Apart from that crazy family my point is this. I get it’s easier to blame the other person who “took” your ex-partner from you. It’s easier to lash out at that person who is nothing to to you, then someone you probably still care about. The truth is, no one can be taken from a relationship unless it’s just something they want, for whatever reasons. It is also definitely not advisable to date that persons mentally unhealthy sibling.

(My personal view: On a completely different note, I think all Blac Chyna has done is made Tyga (who is a total loser to begin with) made him more thankful they are not together anymore? Revenge Porn is also illegal not matter what)

 

Not Married, But Attached — Musings from a Tangled Mind

I know I’ve written many times before about the weird and wild world of online dating. I’ve written about the “stranger danger” Spidey sense that hits when you decide to meet a stranger in person for the first time. I’ve written about the unflattering photos of men way past their prime flaunting their topless torsos […]

via Not Married, But Attached — Musings from a Tangled Mind

Can I just begin this by saying that I feel really bad that I don’t pay much attention to this category. I created the “Single in a small city”category and then about a month later I met my now partner of roughly over two years. I always feel funny about writing being single in any form, when I’m not. However, I still love hearing about other people’s dating stories and I absolutely adore the tv show “First Dates” It’s hilarious! I think that I’ve only be right about one couple so far and I so happy for them that they were still dating after the show.

The above post is from Musings from a Tangled Mind and it’s really hilarious post, it is really great and shows what kind of odd balls there are still out there. Online dating seems to be the thing to do these days.

I met my current partner through online dating and it worked for me. I think it worked for me, I think though that it worked for me because I was “sensible” about it. I met him for the first time in a public place, I made sure I actually had an excuse to leave (if it was turning out to be horrible) and never gave out any personal information!

However, my current partner was not the first person that I met on a date from online dating, and I actually didn’t want to meet the guy. It was more at my mother’s instance. Always listen to your gut instincts! On the one and only date I went on with the other guy, it was really uncomfortable. I already didn’t want to meet him before the date. He insisted on paying for my dinner, but he kept saying how he did it. Then he insisted on dropping me off home, I was not about to let him know where I lived! Then when I convinced him to not drop me home, he left me outside by myself, on a dark street, while I waited for a taxi.