Meant to be?

Simply meant to be

We all know this song …Well if you’re a Disney and Tim Burton fan.

It’s very romantic, a lot of people say they and their partner are “just meant to be”.

What does it mean though, if you break up? Does that mean you were never meant to be?

I don’t necessarily think so.

I believe that we are meant to meet ALL the people we have met in our lives. Whether that be romantic or friendly, even our co-workers and even the horrible people we unfortunately will all encounter in our lives. Just because one relationship didn’t work out doesn’t mean you were never “meant to be”. You were meant to be…Just not forever. Sometimes that may not even be the case. I know a couple of people who broke up when they were younger, but go back together years and years later. Not that I’m saying that will happen for everyone.

So please don’t stay in a relationship because you think it’s “meant to be”. Even when all the signs and your own self tell you that it’s not. You are just wasting time to find the one you are actually meant to be with.

I’ve noticed in my life and through my own experiences how dangerous it can to have this mentality where from the first date they’re just simply meant to be. Especially if it’s an abusive relationships and the amount of people who think they were “meant to be”…You were ‘meant to be with an abuser forever’?…You sure about that?

Recently current beau and I we were talking about, if this or this had never happened, then we would have never met. We went from each our parents meeting, to even the end of my recent toxic friendships. Although my Mum dared me to go on a dating site, it was my ex best friend who suggested the site. As she had used it numerous times before (To this day I wish ONE of them had worked out for her. Instead of the douchebag she’s with now) so she knew how to use it. So my friendship with her was “meant to be”.

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These are my confessions

I’m not sure if I’ve actually written about this before…but if I have I apologise if you feel like you are just rereading something.

(I actually thought about this while I was “in the bathroom”)

I love my partner, I love him SO much…I don’t even think about not being with him.  I know he gets frustrated sometime because he’s not a very expressive person and isn’t great with his word…But his actions…I LOVE his actions! He is definitely an action man. Considering my other ex’s were definitely all talk, no action…I freaking love it!lol..I just want to cuddle him all the time!

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Here is my confession though…

My last ex has totally ruined me.

My last “relationship” was really weird! My last ex chased me for months and I kept saying no. There was a huge age gap…I was 29 going on 30 and he 19 going 20. After 7-7 months after spending a night together, just talking…I finally said Yes…A month later he ghosted me.

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For those who don’t know what “Ghosting” is. It is pretty much anyone you’re dating/seeing…and they just literally stop all contact with you. After chasing you for months and months. They wont return calls, emails, they wont meet up with you anymore. No reason, they just disappear. My ex stopped talking to me and went to a party and did not invite me. I had to send a text saying “I guess you’re trying to tell me you want to break up with me?”.

It has completely ruined my ability to trust and open quickly anymore. The thing that upset me most was when I finally said yes and let my guard down, I fell pretty hard, pretty quickly. Within that one month I was so happy, I allowed myself to look at “wedding” things, because it just felt so right. Usually it takes me forever to get to that point…The guy made me feel like a silly old fool.

The only reason I am starting to look at wedding things now is because my partner and I have been through so much together already. It makes me love him more and more each time.

This isn’t at all too say that I am expecting an proposal anytime soon…It’s more when I start looking at those sorts of things, for me, it means I’m at a certain stage, myself, personally.

 

 

 

 

Lovers where ever you are, where ever you come from <3

Today is apparently the day of love…Mainly for couples…I don’t really like celebrating it even when I’m in a couple to be honest. I’ve known far too many people in my life who’ve been depressing…almost suicidal…on this day because they’re single. Their depression has made me not particularly really like the day. Funnily enough, I am not friends with any of those people anymore. It’s just a “day”…and shouldn’t Valentines Day be every day really?

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If you are one of those people who really doesn’t care about Valentines Day, we can totally be best buddies!

I think that it should just be called “Love Day”…like they do in the Simpsons.

That way we can just have a day to promote love, in all it’s forms…Love for you, love for me, love for everyone!

Don’t forget to also check out TheSinglesSwag box loot every month!

Happy Valentines Day – The Single Woman Blog post

Uploaded by: a hole in the head lets the fresh air in

Published on 13 Feb 2012

Season 9 Episode 22 – Trash of the Titans

Single Awareness Day

Apparently in Australia we have Single Awareness Day held on February the 15th. I’m not exactly sure why it’s called “Awareness”. I am sure that people who are single, are aware of this.

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However my post is not to go on about that.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being Single. We have such a cultural thing where we are made to believe that we “have” to be in a relationship. I think I’ve been lucky in that a lot of the women in my family, the biggest influences have been my mother and my Grandmother. Both of them chose to get divorced and have remained single for well over a decade now. This day and age, especially if you don’t have children and even if you do. It can work for you being single.

When I was single I use to go out with other single friends on Valentines Day, and it was great! We’d go to dinners have a couple of drinks and see a movie…Have you ever seen an independent film drunk? BEST THING EVER! They are so serious and you are so drunk

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(Not that I’m encouraging alcoholism!)

I used to have this friend who was desperate to be in a relationship and so she’d end up with horrible guys. Valentines Day she would get so depressed if she was single and I never really truly understood why someone would get so down on Valentines Day. Too me Valentines Day is just another Day. It’s not like a Christmas or a Birthday or something along those days. We don’t get a public holiday for it…Anywhere. Apart from coworkers no one is really going to know if you’re single or not, so why is it so important?

Remember get a group of other single friends/family and:

  • Get drunk
  • Have dinner
  • See a film…A fun one…No romantic ones…Even comedies!
  • Have a laugh
  • Only go out if you actually even want to go out.
  • Have a singles movies night inside or in a cinema

Never judge your friends or loved ones by how you think…Never Ever

Now you may be asking why have I placed this under “Single in a small City” category?

I feel like it’s important how you treat your friends when you are single and they are in a relationship.

Your friends are not dating someone to hurt YOU…If they are, then they are pretty terrible friend really.

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(I don’t like Lena Dunham by the way, this is just a really good quote)

I was told a few years ago by a friend that she extremely jealous of us (her “friends”) being happy in relationships when she is single. Which is why she only told us that her boyfriend was abusing her…I was the only one single at the time…This is just a bad way of thinking, this is not a mentally healthy way to be and to think.

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Everybody on this planet walks a different path, very rarely two people will follow the exact same path. How you are when you’re single will be different from how someone else would be single…Which is why you cannot put your thoughts onto somebody else. That’s not fair. Just because my “friend” gets jealous when she’s single and we’re not…Doesn’t mean I’m anything like that. It’s not always about you.

I would hope that my readers are not the type of people who would think this. I can’t imagine why my old friend would have thought I’d be happier to hear that she’s being abused, and since I lived in a different state, there was little I could do. Or that she even had that to talk about in the first place. I don’t think like that, never have.

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My point is, if you are the type of person who gets this jealous…That you’d rather hear your friend is getting abused, than hear that they are happy…Please work on this. This is not healthy. This is not a healthy way to think. There is nothing wrong with being single. There’s no shame to it, embrace it, enjoy the freedoms that come along with it.

Otherwise, you too, could end up with an abuser.

I personally would rather be single for the rest of my life, than someone who is abusive towards me.

Work on this before you get into another relationship.

Those “first” crushes

When I say “first crushes” I am not talking about your very first crush in your childhood, or later in life…I’m not here to judge!

I am talking about those first crushes after you’ve been through a horrible break up and you suddenly meet someone and you can feel all those butterflies and suddenly incredibly so insecure.

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You feel like you can’t talk again, you feel like you don’t know what you’re doing. You feel like you understand those “love songs” again. The songs that used to make you feel sad and depressed and missing your ex, suddenly  don’t matter anymore. You’re suddenly feeling happy again and sometimes you feel a little guilty, because surely you have to be miserable…Right? No Way! You just want to tell everyone!

Where you can’t sleep, not because you’re thinking sad thoughts, but because you’re too busy how you’re going to get them to notice…You start talking to your friends about the littlest details about them.