Do you ever hear…(or get sick of hearing) girls/guys always say that they want to date a “nice guy/girl” like them, but they always end up jerks? Except you know that, very rarely, these self-proclaimed “good guys and girls” very rarely are actually what they say they are?
I was inspired to write this post after seeing an article about one the most recent MAFs “brides” claiming that she was getting all these guys attentions…and you know what? I believe her. While in the show this particular “Bride” was trying to hook up with every other husband, it seemed, but her own. When she finally decided on one guy, he had no idea what had been happening. After leaving the show, seeing the reunion and seeing her do what she did and that he wasn’t her first or second choice, but third…They split up.
Now she’s saying she can’t trust him…Don’t actually know why…But she has been playing the victim ever since.
Now you may be thinking “Why on earth would you believe that guys would be interested in her?” Because I have gone through this situation myself.
I am an actual “good girl”. I know this because I don’t lie, cheat, back-stab and make other people endure unnecessary evil or unkindness. I also don’t go around bragging about these things, because others can see it in my actions. However, I always seem to encounter girls who have no problem doing these things, but the self proclaimed “good guys” worship them.
One very public shaming incident for something I did not even do wrong, was by “good guys”. The story went like this:
I had been out of a rotten relationship for a few months, not abusive, just “rotten”. The only thing was we had mutual friends (mainly guys) before I started dating him, and had made more after too. So the few months after we had broken up, I kept being asked out by his other friends. This started to increase after he started dating someone else. I found out people were asking him if it was okay, which honestly made me angry. I do not need my ex boyfriends permission. Maybe if they had asked me first…Anyway, I digress.
So at that time I legitimately did not want to date anyone. Not wanting to date, does not automatically mean I don’t want to be flirted with or “play” a bit. There were these two guys, one was a fantastic flirt and I really enjoyed it and we didn’t want to date each other. The other wanted my ex’s permission, kept asking me out and thought the way to my heart was to bash him behind his back. I may not like someone, but I don’t think it’s right to bash them behind their backs. You know what that makes me think? I now know why my ex, is the way he is. Because you think he’s horrible too, but you say nothing to him about his behavior! This particular ex was dumb and relied on the approval of others. If you say nothing to him, nothing changes.
Through the grapevine I found out my ex had said that I would never do anything with the guy I was flirting with…Well, i was going to prove him wrong! So I sorta had a one night stand. By sorta, we started but I realised I was not attracted to this guy at all. It was all wrong, so I asked him to stop and he did…Lucky for his “good guy” friends.
I kid you not…maybe two days later I get tagged in a meme “Why do girls always complain that there are no good guys and then date jerks”. You can only begin to imagine my anger. I had strange guys, who I don’t even know making comments like “How does the burn feel”. These days I would say “What burn? In order for a burn, the burn has to have some ring of truth to it”. But I was shocked!
So not only did I make a pledge then and there to never date anyone from that group (you’ll be happy to know that I never did). But it set in motion to prove their hypocrisy to me even more.
Then “Lisa” came into the group (don’t know why Lisa) She slept with a married man, she’s been engaged twice, clearly using them while the married man was married. Then he came back, she got engaged again, she’s split up half the group. He own brother made a comment to me about her…But, she’s worshiped…By the exact same “good guys” who burned/did not burn me calling themselves good guys in the same sentence.
I have a one night stand when I’m single, with a single guy and I’m a bad person. Lisa comes along, sleeps with a married man, uses the rest, splits up the group, her own brother is making is comments…Oh did I forget to mention, it was her brother that introduced her to the group. So now he can’t speak to friends, because of her….But I get told I should be more like her? I see not a single comment about her “behaviour”.
*I only have one sentence and Lisa has a whole paragraph*
So even if I hadn’t of decided to not date anyone from that group when they did what they did too me. I certainly would have done it after that! After a few months of it, I started to take myself out of that group. Yet, I would be willing to bet that they are sitting there still saying they’re “good guys”.
What I’m trying to say is this…
People need to stop with the whole “I am a good guy/girl” Chances are if you are constantly having to tell people, you’re probably not. It’s like when guys buy those stupid big cars (or obsessions with guns). We know what you’re trying to say, but we know it’s not true.