That part of the weekend vs this part of the weekend

Could my title be any longer?!

Well I hope that you all had a fantastic weekend, mine was so odd!lol…I lost track of time because I worked on the weekend for the first time in my life, threw me right off! I stood up for a couple of people for them just to turn around and did something even stupider. Then there was also the friend who sent me this message about how Facebook reminded them we’ve been friends for 6 years and how we should catch up, even though it’ll probably never happen. Almost felt like they were trying to make me feel guilty about it, except they’re the ones who kept bailing, so I stopped asking,lol

Despite all of that though I actually had a really great weekend. I worked for the first time on a weekend and with only one other staff member, and didn’t break anything. Got around the seeing a movie I’ve been wanting to see and didn’t suffer from any anxiety. While working on the weekend has totally thrown me off a timetable, it was a great learning experience. I felt like I actually did learn things. Had a nice glass of Jack Daniels and then the next morning made myself the most perfect hot chocolate, if I do say so myself.

The best thing about the weekend was though I actually got to relax and recharge. I have had to go out every day on the weekend for the past three weekends and it’s been really annoying. I’ve enjoyed the time I’ve spent with people, but there’s nothing like being able to spend most of the day in your pj’s and just chill. Especially when you are cooking some beautiful beef in a slow cooker.

This weekend has inspired me!…Watch this space for more…

Be your own best friend

These last couple of years have been pretty rough on me, friendship wise. I’ve lost a lot of friends, friendships have changed and I’m came to the conclusion this weekend, that I don’t really have a “best friend”. I thought I did…But I really don’t think I do. I have good friends and close friends and fun friends. I don’t think that I’ve ever really had a “best friend” though.  A couple of years ago the best friends I thought I had completely changed (you can read the start of my changes here from a year ago).

Too break it down, one of my best friends got into an abusive relationship and it was on and off and I got sick of it. I stood up and instead of telling, well if they love each other they should work it out, I told to her to leave. I got hated on for it and that’s when it began. One of my “best friends” started to “accidentally” leave me out of ‘best friend and sister’ posts on Facebook, and then got all upset with me when I told her off. Then the actual girl told me we had grown apart because I was single, she didn’t want to tell me all the good stuff in case I got jealous. When she’s single, she gets jealous of happy couples. Except I have never been like that, shouldn’t my “best friend” of half my life know that? What kind of friend does she think I am anyways, that I’d rather hear about her getting abused, then happy things? Then every time she’s come out here, she seems to see only one of our best friends, out of our “best friend” group. In fact, she has seen one of our best friends partners one on one, more than me.

I think the thing that worries me most, is that I’m not even sad about it. It’s just feels like one less responsibility and less person you owe something too, or in this case three people. Have I become so cynical and heartless? As I have been slowly taking myself out. It’s been kind of nice too to take myself out of these groups, nice and slowly. As every time something happens and I am hanging out with them, all I can think “Why does nothing change” and also “How stupid are these people?”.

Not being ‘stuck’ in a group has also meant I have had more time to get out there and discover things I am interested in and meet new people. These included having more time to write a Blog, or the stories I am currently working on. I also go for longer walks with my dog. I can go off and explore things around the neighbourhood when I want, I have more time for crafting stuff. I don’t know if it is also because I have a good boyfriend who I can muck about it and he has been a better friend than they have. Maybe that’s also why it’s been so easy?

I feel like I get do things that I want to do, I can go to places I want too, eat at places I want to, shop where I want too and not feel like I’m being dragged along, or dragging someone else along too.

Sorry, I think that this post is a bit all over the place.

Are any of you in the same situation though? Do you feel like without those people in your life, you are actually alright as well? Do you feel like you should be missing them, but you are hey okay without them?

It’s just another Manic Monday

I had this whole plan to write a whole post about the last week, my new job and what I’ve learnt in the last week…What I’ve learnt in the last week though has been REALLY depressing. I don’t even want to talk about the depressing stuff, so I’m only going to talk about good things…I feel like a lot that people need to see more positive stuff, because we’ve stopped believing!

 

  • So I started my new job last Monday and I’ve been really loving it, the staff are lovely and they are using a American Library Management System and instead of using the term “Check In” like we usually do, on the LMS, it’s got the word “Discharge” instead…We all agree, it’s a gross term. It doesn’t even make sense…Discharge goes out, not in…ewwww,lol
  • The police officer who shot and killed teenager Jordan Edwards, (and into a car full of teenagers, who I can only imagine how traumatised they are now) is actually being charged with murder. I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard of this happening. They usually get off, or get suspended…So something is changing! Whether he’ll be found guilty or not is another question. Now I just want to say I love the police and there are good ones out there, but it’s time to the bad ones start to be held accountable. The bad give the good ones a seriously bad reputation and it’s just not good enough!
  • All of my favourite streamers were streaming on Twitch on the weekend and it was SO much fun! Please check them out Stacey Roy  , Darshelle Stevens
  • I’m actually all organised with all my Mothers Days gift for my Mum this year over this weekend, instead of waiting till the day before next weekend.

 

Video uploaded by: TransatlanticMoments

Casually Me

You may have recently read that I got my first step into my dream job. I was SO excited, I don’t think most people understand what it takes to get that first step into the Library world in my little town. Once you’re in the Library world, you’re in, but you have to get in first. I have been applying for every single Library job in my town for the past 3 or so years. I actually started my training today.

So there I am all excited and most people have been so excited for me, and isn’t always the way that those very VERY few naysayers, we listen too. There are have been some who haven’t been so excited for me, and for one reason only, the work is casual. Which means that I am currently working two causal jobs, both of which I really do enjoy. However, some look down on casual work. Casual work doesn’t guarantee hours during a week, it doesn’t give you the calm that if you get sick, you can take days off and still get paid. You still pay taxes and you still have money taken out for your superannuation. You are STILL working.

In fact, I find that people who are casual workers tend to keep themselves healthier, because if they don’t work, they don’t get paid. There’s this one coworker of mine on contract for two days a week, I think they’ve shown up to about 5 of their shifts, for the whole year. It’s ridiculous and really annoying, he went from full time to 4,3 days and now he’s only on 2 and he still never shows up. You can’t get a contract, if that person wont leave.

It’s been really depressing to have fought so hard and be so happy, just to let a couple of people think it’s worth “nothing”. I am trying not to let it bother me, but it is really annoying.

Casually Me

Thank you <3

Just wanted to say a quick thank you for the all the lovely birthday wishes ❤ I was going to reply to everything individually, but it I soon realised that it was going to be complicated, so I thought it’d be quicker and better this way and then I can say thank you. Just talk a little about my weekend…Let’s talk and share with our first morning cup of coffee.

smiling-coffee2_jpg-pwrt3

How was your weekend?

I’m also a bit nervous this morning, I start my first day of training with the Libraries. I’ve got training every day training, except for Friday, which is kind of lovely. I’ll probably be exhausted by Friday, and it’s all paid training as well.

The Grudge

I had an interesting conversation with a friend over the weekend and it made me think how people will view grudges differently, depending on which side you are on That’s not too say that everyone is like this, after all we all experience things in different ways.

Let me explain…

Very recently both my friend and I both had people from our past that sent us friends on request on Facebook. Both people had been very cruel to both of us, for no good reasons. They both sent us a friends request with no message, apology or reasons why they felt like we should be “Facebook friends” and we both said no. One of us then heard about how their ex-friend was telling everybody how my friend was holding onto a grudge, and I was told “it’s in the past, why can’t I just let it go”.

I also have been in a situation where someone who used to bully me in primary school, wrote a message to me on Facebook and apologised. I accepted their friends request and I do not have one single regret.

I am a big believer in letting things go and forgiving people…not for them, but for yourself. Both of us can honestly say that we hold no grudge or even ill-will towards these people. We just don’t think we have to be friends with everybody. Clearly, the fact also that these people can’t even understand and instead of sending us a message to ask us “Why”, they decided to talk about it with everybody else, except for us. Which to both of us, shows us that really nothing has changed.

So, how about yourself, do you hold onto grudges?Are you good at letting things go? Do you believe some people will just never change? Have you ever been in a similar situation and what did you do?