Fandango’s Provocative Question #193

Fandango’s Provocative Question #193

I really thought about this question, so I decided to write a post about it.

What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make? What made the decision so difficult?

The hardest decision I made, turned out one that worked out in my favour really. I’ve had a really good life, really. Most of the decisions in my life were left out of my hands. There was a choice that I could have made, that would have changed my life. I’m an Australia, my first serious relationship was with an American.

I could probably be an American right now, if I had decided to go back, even one last time. I clearly did not. I’m still in Australia and I am now in a long term relationship with an Australia.

At the time though and first love. All I could see was being with my first love…FOREVER It makes me feel so stupid now. There was a time where I really had to look into moving over there. The thing that was making it difficult, I didn’t want to leave Australia. I love Australia, I love being an Australian (much better than silly America) and my little family is awesome. He had never made the effort to come out too Australia. Still…first loves and all that…

In the end, he pretty much made the decision for me. He didn’t break up with me, but I knew there was a girl he wanted to be with. The only thing stopping him, was her. And she HATED me, I still haven’t met her though. She had no problem using my boyfriend, at the time, to try and cheese me off. He had cheated on me before, and we are still friends.

Too be honest, the nicest break up I’ve ever had. I was so tired of trying to convince him to come to Australia. I had decided I wasn’t moving to America, until he met MY family.

I am VERY happy to be an Australian still.

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Just because…

…I feel nice, does not mean you can hit on me.

I am so tired of the repeated annoyance of being ridiculously good looking, haha.

I am so tired of being positive about myself, or posting a nice picture. And then all the single guys, not girls, just always guys, that I know. Seem to think it’s permission to make a comment, in my DM’s. Sometimes I’ll get random messages from them of a sexual nature, and then the day after there’s always an apology, because they were “drunk”. But you know, it’s not okay.

I am at the point. That I want to say too them “Apologise to my partner, not just me”. It puts me in such an awkward position, because then I have to act like they’ve done nothing wrong. And I am seriously annoyed, but I can’t tell my partner, because he’ll get mad. And what if he thinks that I don’t mind it really, I’d be devastated if he thought that.

I just feel like making a public statement, if you will. Of not saying to anyone specific, but to make a general statement. That if it happens, I will not accept their apologies until they’ve apologised to my partner. I love and adore my partner, we may not be married, but he is my family and he is my … non-hubby husband? Is that a thing, lol

Some may say it’s flattering, I know girls who would LOVE it. I am not one of them, lol. It’s not flattering people, don’t do it. Unless one specifically says it is, or gives permission. Then go for it. I do not find it flattering.

I actually like them…

Who, I can hear you all just dying to know!

I actually think all of my ex-boyfriends, new girlfriends are all totally sweethearts. Well except the one who ghosted me, probably a couple of months after our “break up” I stopped looking for signs he was dating someone, as I was dating someone, lol. I have not look a single time at his profile since then, and know nothing about his life.

But the rest, all sweethearts…and they could all do a lot better for themselves. Like honestly, out of all the girls my ex’s have dated, I must be the most boring, lol. I adore the ex’s I’m friends with, but these girls could do a lot better, lol. I even adore the girls where I’m not friends with my ex, lol.

Basically, if you put down my ex-girlfriends to try and “impress” me.

Have a Happy Day

I’m not sure what to write here today.

I have never personally been a huge Valentine’s Day, single or in a relationship. Honestly, the best Valentine’s I have had, are when I’m single and I’ve gotten together with other single friends. So I’ve never really been inspired to write anything “romantical”. Honestly, I was put off of Valentine’s Day by an ex friend of mine. But that shouldn’t stop putting anyone off, buying me books =D Just saying, lol. I am spending my Valentines, looking after an injured partner…I love you, you total duffa, lol

I just hope every day has a little bit of goodness in it for you ❤ Even on the bad ones.

Today, I have made up boxes for the neighbours who helped search for Travie. I actually did want to do something like this, when we got him back. But you know, life, lol. Think about doing something a little different this year for Valentines Day. Also I just really like our neighbours, they are lovely. Very chatty (which I am not) but very lovely.

Personally, I’m more a fan of the dark and miserable romances, where they don’t really end up “together”. You know sometimes I think something is wrong with me, lol

Thursday Theories – Those gross people (the dating life)

I want to put this in here, because the last couple of weeks my Thursday Theories have been quiet serious, with good reason. Let’s have a bit of a giggle instead!

Before I met my current partner, I was pretty much always perpetually single. I had long term relationships, but in my life I’ve only had 2 serious relationships. One was VERY long distance and the other, well I might as well have been single. Over all I’ve dated only 4 guys in my life, including my current partner. Between in relationships, I was probably single for at least a year or two inbetween.

So I spent a bit of being single, and I am relatively attractive, if I do say so myself.

However, what I want to write about…There was a guy, that one of the last time’s I spoke too him and he said, and I quote “We are going to end up having sleeping together”.

It was SUCH an awkward moment, like I kept trying to remind myself of a time where I “encouraged” him. As a human being, he was perfectly fine, well … not really … if I’m honest … For someone who was very into heavy metal, he was very judgmental. By that I mean, all the people I know into heavy metal, are quiet assured of themselves people. They’re great! Not one single sexual thought about him, lol

What happened to him? A couple of months later he unfriended me, lol

We had been friends for a while, and so I was highly disappointed in him. This has sort of happened a few times too me. Because I am one of those people who, when I have a crush, you know. So I’ve been asked out on a few dates and not realised it was a date.

Like this one guy, I was just talking about how I hadn’t been Museum for ages and he said, he hadn’t either. So we agreed to go one time, we did and I realised as he walked up too me that he thought it was a date. When he realised that I realised he thought it was a date, it got very awkward.

After that, he unfriended me too. But I started to notice that he was adding me whenever he had a girlfriend. Then when they inevitably broke up, he’d unfriend me again. At first I thought he was embarrassed, but I started to realise this was a “thing” of his.

Then there was one that ended up being a setup. Like people, do NOT do that if you like either person. I got left alone with someone I was not attracted too again, and not reasonable way to get out of it. I was left alone with a drunk angry “little” man. Who literally slammed his glass on the table when I didn’t want to continue the night.

Ghosting

Ghosting in the dating world, is a really sneaky and cowardly thing to do someone. I should know, the last guy I dated before my current partner, did it too me.

Ghosting someone in the dating world, usually means, that one of the parties just cuts off all contact with someone. Usually the people have known each other for a while, or at least, early dating for a while. It’s not like a couple of dates and that’s it. That’s ghosting someone is so frowned upon.

What made me unhappy about my particular situation, was that I had been friends with the guy for a long time, but because of the age gap (me being older) I kept saying no. Then within a month of me saying “Okay, let’s give this a go”. He ghosted me one weekend. It was the first time I had felt old and used, and an old fool. Funnily enough, a co-worker, younger than me was going through the exact same thing. She had known a guy for ages, kept saying no, she didn’t want anything serious. Within a month of them starting to date, he ghosted her too!

No one really knows why someone ghosts someone, there’s always a different reason. Sometimes it’s just the thrill of the chase, they actually met someone else and don’t want the drama. Sometimes it is just genuinely because they’re not interested anymore.

I can’t answer for my “guy”, there have been some theories. That I’ve even talked about with my current partner. Mainly because I want him to answer for all men (hahaha) totally kidding. He’s never ghosted someone before and he finds that behaviour odd, lol. It really is. It was just a coincidence that myself and another girl were going through it together.

Here are the good things about being ghosted:

EVERYTHING

It might hurt and they wont ever tell you what really happened. I still honestly believe that I was a bet, between him and his friends. YOU ARE LUCKY!

Get yourself a partner that will think it’s odd to ghost someone.

Remind yourself, that you have escaped a total and utter cowardly lion. Because you really have. What kind of person chases someone for months, sometimes nearly a year. Gets who they actually want, and I don’t mind humbling saying a lot want me, same with this other girl too. Just to essentially run away after a month?

NTA

NTA = Not the Asshole.

Now for something a little “lighter”.

I don’t have a reddit account, but on reddit a lot of these kind of topics come up a lot and the “audience” let you know if they think you’re the “a-hole” or not. Why have I chosen this story? Although it’s not specifically about dating, it is about a situation between two exes.

Personally, I don’t think sister/ex-wife is the a-hole. But I have been in a similar situation, I have been a last minute wedding invite, because the original person never RSVPED. My ex was there with his new girlfriend. I went because we did have a lot of mutual friends in common, and I ended up sitting with them, while my ex was punished. So it suited me fine, haha. In all honestly though, if that person had contacted them and he could have gone, I would have not gone.

There is no reason to not un-invited people who ARE a-holes. Especially to your family, and if you don’t even know the people that well.

What do you all think of back up invitees?

I personally have no problem with them, or being one. You should always be careful though about having them, I feel you should be honest with them. You should also consider does that back up have an ex attending, do they get along? Do they have a partner, do you invite them too? Oh, it is not an easy thing these wedding lists.

Single in a small city

For those who have been following my Blog for a while now, have probably seen my Category called Single in a small city. Now, the funny story behind this catgeory, is that I created it and the next month I ended up being in the relationship that I am in now, for 7 + years. It felt a little odd to be talking about dating, when I am off the market.

For the longest time, I didn’t know what to do with that Category, and now I think I know what to do!

I’m going to give out dating advice, dating advice and also how to help handle breakups. Sometimes, people need just the cold hard “yes or no”. Which is funny, because I’ve only had (have to count this on fingers) 4 real relationship’s in my life. Watching other people though, and having a now ex-friend obsessed with being in relationships, she was the reason I did not want to be in one, lol. Sometimes being an outsider, you can see things, that others cannot.

So I am changing the name of that Category =D Have a look … I don’t actually like the name, but it’s all I could honestly think of, without sounding totally creepy, lol

I feel ill everyone

Oh my god, I am having that moment where I’m both horrified and want to throw up.

So, if you didn’t hear the latest the American Booksellers Associations apoligise for both promoting Candace Owens books and Abigail Shriers anti-trans books. That wasn’t the horrifying part, haha.

When I went to look for the American Booksellers Association, of course Candace Owens was complaining about it. Targeting the CEO of the ABA. However, was horrified me, was who has liked her page, or follows her.

I used to have a crush on the guy!

Funny thing is, he rejected me, because he thought I was being weird talking to him a lot.

I did talk to him a lot, so I wasn’t surprised. I wasn’t very good with my crushes, and it wasn’t like I was talking to him. I just couldn’t stop writing long answers to any of his questions, and then I had to find out through another friend how weird he thought I was.

But then a couple of years later, he said I should smile more often, I have a really pretty smile … anyway … it’s done.

You know, it’s funny, because although all my ex’s cheated on me, even though, they probably should have never dated me. At least I can now say, I made good choices with them. NONE of them like Trump, let alone Owens. Oh, when I went through what he follows and “liked” Donald Trump is up here … and he calls ME, weird? lol

On some weird (I guess) level, I can get people “liking” Trump, but not Owens, and not in Australia. She has contributed literally nothing to American society, let alone Australia.

What is interesting, ALL my crushes that rejected me, have turned out to be “odd” people and people I had no clue were so … odd, lol. However, my ex’s, who every single one of them cheated on me. Are not actually that horrible. The ones I’m friends with now. They all dislike Trump, and they are actually not the playboys they once were. They grew up =D So that made me feel a little better about my choices, lol.

Ariana Grande

Can ex’s be friends?

I got one!lol

There’s a bit of a funny story that I have with one of my Categories “Single in a small city”. About a month or two after I category I got into my now relationship, haha. A part of me always feels awkward when I write about being single, since I am not.

I am sure that I have written about this before, but my mind has expanded on it since.

I believe you can be friends with an ex, and it’s not even about that if you can be friends were you ever in love. Of course you were! Also depending how serious you were as well, of course you can be! It just doesn’t work out. You don’t usually go into a relationship knowing a person, so after time, you can realise that you’re not just not compatible.

Saying that, as well though, sometimes you might still have feelings and pretending that you don’t. Don’t do that to yourself. Don’t be friends with someone who has unrequited feelings for you.

I have a couple of exes that I’m friends with. Two of which I was with them for a while. I don’t think you can be friends straight away, but yeah, I believe you can.

Sometimes an ex can actually be a better friend than a friend friend. During a romantic relationship, and especially if you’re together for a while. You can go through quiet a lot together, that you don’t always with family or friends. Take, as an example, I was shocked to discover that my partner, smart, logical, is terrified of death. He doesn’t want to die. I was shocked by it, because it never occurred to me that he would be scared of death. I know most people are, but … you know what I mean? Because he’s not a spiritual person, he’s like “Once I’m dead, that’s it”. Whereas I believe I’ll see family, friends and furbabies again. So while I’m scared of death, I am also more scared of how I’ll go.

Long story, you share things with a romantic partner you don’t always with others. At the same time though, this doesn’t always happen.