Rebirth

I took this past Easter Monday/Sunday, as a sort of rebirth for myself. I wrote the below on Sunday Evening on Facebook, for the public. Not that I care about dates and days, but I know the people who this is for, do.

But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time
Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time

What a few years it has been, right! Before I start this, I don’t want anyone to *like* this. This is 100% on me. I was going to write it on my birthday, but you know. I don’t care about about dates and stuff, unlike the people this is for. However, one) I don’t need this constantly coming up on my birthday and two) Easter Sunday is all about rebirth, so it’s kind of perfect.

You know what I hate more than anything? Call me whatever you want, you wouldn’t be the first and you weren’t even the last. But don’t lie about me to my face, and then run away. I get it, there’s very little proof that I am such a horrible person. But when you’re in your 30s and you still would rather hear that your “sisters from other misters” are being abused, because you’re single. Oh sweetheart, no lie, that’s a monster right there.

When I had my anxiety attack, since that night, in all my nearly 38 years of living, that was the only time I genuinely thought I was going to die, by not being able to breathe. When I finally told people about it, your reaction. Too tell me I’m a terrible person. That was a blessing for me. So I want to thank you. Genuinely. The next few months I kept waiting to be sad, to run to someone and say how miserable I was. Didn’t happen. See, the thing is, my relationship with you, was all about you. As everything is when it comes to you. So all of a sudden *poof* my LIFE, was about me again. How can someone be miserable about that? I didn’t have to worry anymore about made up dramas, my dramas are actual adult and grown up problems, not high school dramas. Promptly and swiftly every gift, photo, gone.

Oh, I got mad. I got mad my time, MY life had been wasted, by you. That makes a person mad. Out of everyone in my life, YOU owe me the biggest apology, that will never come. Your egos would never allow for that. But that’s okay, I have forgiven you. With the promise to myself that I will NEVER allow someone to waste my life again. YOU wasted my life, MY time on this planet. And I am such a better person than you. But again, I wouldn’t have realised that unless you had hadn’t tried to attack me and lie to my face about “who I am”. You have no clue who I am, or have ever been.

When someone asks me why I’m different, why I’m more vocal, why I give a literal less of a shit about petty dramas, why I laugh at people’s foolishness, why I fight for others, why I don’t like time wasters and will tell them so. I point them in your direction. No, I don’t like you. But I do have to thank you.

#Rebirth