30 Day writing challenge … Day 8

8. Write about something you have struggle with.

I think it’s no secret that I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety. I write about it here, I post about it on my Instagram account. A lot, unfortunately, has to do with my diet now, including what I drink. I haven’t had a coffee in over a year. I used to only have them if I knew for sure I wasn’t going out the next day. After Pippy’s stroke, I realised that life is not certain. Whenever I’d have a coffee. I’d be fine WHILE I was drinking it, however a couple of hours later, with the come down. My panic would increase. At least my head would fill fuzzy.

The biggest reason I struggle with my anxiety via my diet is because. All my panic attacks seem to happen in the middle of the night. Not really through the day. I think a lot of that is because of what I eat and drink. Certain drinks I can’t drink anymore, for the same reason as the coffee. If I do have an alcohol drink, I HAVE to have a drink of water before bed. Otherwise my body becomes dehydrated and then my mind goes into a panic. The same happens with if I have a hot chocolate too late. I think the sugar rush come down, puts my body into a panic. Since I’m not awake, I can’t feel the come down coming until it’s too late…and I’m up, in a panic. 

Just recently, with the colder weather. We accidentally left the heater on, and so during the night I over heated, while asleep. My body went into a panic and I woke up in a massive panic attack. This was also the night that I had the hot chocolate late at night.

I think it’s now part of the reason I don’t really like the dark anymore. Because I keep having panic attacks in the middle of the night. Imagine waking up in the dark, not feeling like you can breathe, your brain is being completely illogical. It’s really scary. I HATE blackouts now. I used to not mind them, I found it exciting, in fact. We’d have to see how great conversations we are. We always play a board game. Now, I hate them. The first time we had one after my panic attack, I had to keep nearly staring at the candle light. 

I don’t like being outside in the dark too much anymore either. I still love looking at the moon, inside. But I get silly frightened if I say, went outside to take a photo of the moon. During Winter, I am continually stuck between going outside into any light available and not being cold. Luckily I hate the cold, more than needing the light,lol. 

Lonely Bates Motel GIF by A&E - Find & Share on GIPHY

7 thoughts on “30 Day writing challenge … Day 8

  1. I tend to wake up in the middle of the night, cold sweats, yet feel like passing out, and it’s the worst feeling in the world. I get that a lot after drinking, and even randomly sometimes.

    Have since switched to decaf and cut down on drinking, but man does it suck when it happens. Anyway, wishing you all the best with your journey!

    Liked by 1 person

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