*So I was going to write a really long post, but I thought that it may bore people to read my point of view. So I’m going to write it in two parts. One talking about a basis of where I’m coming from with friendship break ups. The other will be about how to spot if you’re in a toxic friendship and how to get out of it. Purely from my personal experience*
I was replying to an answer on Quora (Quora is fabulous by the way). Someone asked the question about how do you know when your relationship/partner is toxic. I started off by saying that I think they already knew the answer. Normally I would respond with just that. However, since the other people who answered were about how wonderful their partners are…
I decided to talk about how the hardest, but most toxic relationships I have had trouble letting go of are, which are friendships. Romantic relationships have been much easier for myself to let go of, especially when it’s right. All I needed was one toxic romantic relationship that I hung onto, to realise how I should just let them go.
Why Do People Believe Narcissists Rather Than Their Victims?
The most obvious answer is, this is what Narcissists are really good at. It’s what they do.
For myself, when I wanted to start letting go was when I got into an argument with my now ex-best friend about her on again off again abusive relationship. It didn’t start off as that but it deteriorated. It was when she “slipped” and admitted that the reason we hear about all his abuse was because I was single and when she’s single she doesn’t like hearing how happy we are. That comment was my ah ha moment. It disturbed me to no end, what also disturbed me though was the other two were not disturbed at all that she’s only happy when we’re miserable.
I’ve started to realise that it is possible to have or be in an abusive friendship. We put so much emphasis on romantic relationships that we forget that the relationships that we have the longest can possibly be abusive as well. Family, friendship etc. Every time I’ve heard of what people who are abusers have done to other people, I’ve started to realise that it is extremely possible to have a friend that’s abusive towards you. I mean why not, right? Why think that abusers are only relegated to family and romantic. I’m sure they don’t.
It’s why I think we find it so hard to let go of friendships. Because socially, we’re really only told about abuse is abuse when it’s domestic or romantic. Why not friends?
When you take a look at incidents of manipulation of gas-lighting…I wonder how many of us can relate to a friend who has done this to us?
There is good news though, once you recognise the signs. You then get the choice to leave or stay. I think that is one difference with friendships, once you have decided to leave, you tend to be able too. You’ll probably get gossip and you’ll probably lose friends, but friendships tend to be easier to leave than other types of relationships.
Knowledge is ALWAYS powerful!
great post!!❤
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Thank you ❤
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its my pleasure to read such a great post..
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❤
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❤❤😀
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hi..
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Hello!
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hey what is your excat date of birth my friend ??❤
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29th of April =D
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thanks❤💞
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i was wriiting in my friends book thats why i asked please..🙏🙏
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Sorry. it’s been a crazy day…but I think I’ve replied now?
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ya you replied.. but it was a great day.. because it haa 2 reason..
1. i got a true and great friend because of this day..
2. God lost his an Angle and she came on earth in you.. Lolsy..❤
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That is absolutely a very beautiful things to say ❤ Thank you…And it's very true of yourself also! =D
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Thankyou my dear friend…
hows life ?
who is in your family ?
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I hope you are well =D I have a mum and a dad, and a brother…and a dog and a cat =D
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great! i wish to God to give all happiness to All of you..
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Thank you =D
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for what Lolsy ??🤔
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Nice to know about your family..❤🙏
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Hi,,,💞💞
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Hello =D
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How are you ?
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how are you ?.
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I dont have any family..☹.
Thats why i like to know about my friends family….
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Well I like to believe that sometimes friends can be like a family =D
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yes good friends like you are family… ghats why i like to talk you…💞
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I like “chatting” to you too =D You seem lovely =D
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oh really..😀😀❤❤
i will die by happiness..
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You are really so sweet.. my Friend..💞
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❤
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really ❤?
you like me ?
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You seem like a genuinely nice person =D
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Thankyou my dear friend..🙏🌹🌹
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??
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Hello, are you busy ?
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Yeah, I think the time difference means we are writing at very different times?
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yes its true time is diffrent.. Because our country is not same.
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Hello Lolsy how are you.. its heavy rainning here.. and there hows weather ?
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We are heading into Winter here, but the weather has actually been quiet nice the last couple of days.
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really.. it start of Summer in India.. and its a lot of Hot.. people are very worried about this..
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I can understand, we’re worried too.
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oh.. these are natural things we cant do anything.
we can pray to God Only..
which religion you follow ?
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I’m not really religious, most spiritual.
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ok.. i am very spritual..💞
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It’s a good way to be =D
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thankyou.. i like to talk with you.. i feel so happy when i talk to you..
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Awww, thank you =D I feel happy to you too! I do find it kind of funny though we’re talking about new friends on a post I wrote about “breaking up” with old friends,lol
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hahaha.. no never break up from any friend..
we have to maintain our feelings with new and old friends.. its the only relation we chose ourself.. otherwise all relations we got by birth from God..
and dont forget your new Indian Friend. who is some silly.. its me..😀😉
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I wont forget you =D You are one of those rare sweet people =D
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oh.. ❤😀 Thankyou. you are very good friend to me. i will always remember you till my last breath…
thankyou thankyou..💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞
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Nawww, hopefully that’s a very long way of…For both of us!lol
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yes… but always fullfill my promises.. you just wait and watch till my life ends..❤
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Hi Lolsy how are you..?⚘
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❤
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Reblogged this on Writing Radiation and commented:
Relationships of any kind can be abusive. It can be just as hard to “break up” with a friend as it is to end a romantic relationship.
You deserve respect & support from all the people in your life. ❤
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❤
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