I think I can, I think I can, I know I can

13. A Challenge you’ve overcome

Henry Ford

Well I haven’t overcome my anxiety…yet…but I will!

*Long Post Incoming!*

Let me explain…

So I will reflect on a time when I felt like “Why does everybody hate me” I was getting cyber-bullied, when cyber-bullying wasn’t even a really a “thing” yet. I felt like it was never going to end and it made go so inside myself…metaphorically…I never felt like I was going to recover…Mainly because the bullying just didn’t seem to be ceasing.

The odd thing about the situation was I had never met the “ring leader” she had just decided that she didn’t like me. She didn’t want to be with my boyfriend, but constantly would use him. Even within 24 hours after we broke up she just HAD to tell me how he had tried to kiss her, she felt it was only right to be honest with me…I managed to keep my cool…And then found out a couple of days later he had actually tried to kiss everybody…and I do mean everybody…Guys included…It just got even worse after we broke up, with her. My ex and I are now fine, we’re actually really good friends.

It went on for about 6 months roughly. 6 months of stressing, every second day throwing up, every day getting some sort of message about how horrible of a human being I was, losing friends because I unfriended her (those are not real friends by the way). This was going on every day, or at least every other day for 6 months…It felt so much longer at the time.

After that 6 months I started to realise something, which then changed my life and the way I deal with girls and situations like this. How unhappy must she be? For all the talk about how much she loves the guys and by love I mean she constantly talked about how much she wanted to sleep with all of them, while they were dating her best friends. They literally stopped being friends with me because she wanted them too…

How unhappy must you be to attack someone else? No one who is happy, attacks others. You just don’t.

When you are truly happy you do go out of way to attack someone, especially someone you don’t even know…You just can’t be bothered…Why wreck a good life?  When I started to realise the power that I had, how sad her life must be…I started to come out of my shell again…What could she honestly do? The people who are always there for me, stayed with me. I was safe. When I started to realise these things, I could even start making jokes at her expense. Which sounds mean, but it was more I was having a conversation with someone on a forum and she just had to tell me how “immature” I was being. So I called her “MissButtSexputdrugsinouralcoholwantstohaveorgiesandhavesexwithmybestfriendsboyfriends…is calling moi immature?”. Pretty much every topic on that forum was her talking about one of those topic. She did not like that. Her response was toxic and she got banned from the forum. The irony being she has not only ended up with the guy that banned her, but they are still together and have a kid!

The result of this was giving me a life back. My Life.

I was able to laugh at her, I was able to laugh at the situation. It was ludicrous. I was finally able to stop it from affecting my life and I was actually able too start moving on from my ex as well. That was part of the problem, she kept bringing it up. I must have taken that selfie of myself to make jealous, except for the whole he couldn’t see it unless they were showing him, thanks to my privacy settings. Constantly being told how happy he is with his new girlfriend etc.

This is what it has helped me overcome in my future life…

It also taught me the biggest lessons in my life. About relationships in any form, family, romantic, friendships. What is appropriate, what isn’t, what I should and shouldn’t apologise for, about who is really there for you. How I don’t want any fake relationships of any kinds in my life. I have also been in a similar situation since and I learnt SO much and how to handle it, with pretty much no drama. That has my life has been pretty much drama free since then.

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2 thoughts on “I think I can, I think I can, I know I can

  1. Well done to you… We certainly find out so much about ourselves when challenges come along. They are never pleasant; but, usually we end up so much wiser… 🙂

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