What is earned…

respect

Last weekend was a particularly bad weekend, I was abused all weekend about how I didn’t “respect” them, which is a joke since pretty much so far 3/4 quarters of my life he never wanted anything to do with me. When I was a kid he would disappear for weeks, drunk. When I was a teenager he would abandon us to try and hurt my mother (because hurting my mothers children was such a turn on =/)…Drunk…Now in my adult years he “demands” that he is personally invited to everything, and then pulls out every time and a few days later, we all get threatening messages,

Yet, he’s done nothing wrong to us, he doesn’t deserve to be treated that way…Who in HELL is this guy kidding?!!!

Who is this person? My “father”.

The reason I am now writing posts like these. I am tired of being threatened and abused. Does my father have a clue how lucky he is that my siblings and I even bother still talking to him as already is? I am tired of being ashamed like I’ve done something wrong, he should be the one to be ashamed! Not US!

This is it though, all my life I’ve been ashamed when people have told me that I deserve to get hit and have partners stand by and do and say nothing when there friends attack me over nothing. I mean literally nothing, I asked them what I had done to them…No response. Why do I always end up being the one that feels ashamed? These guys are a joke!

Yeah, that’s gonna stop…I’m not having another 30 years of this.

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2 thoughts on “What is earned…

  1. I remember an episode of Dr. Phil (yes, I used to watch Dr. Phil; don’t laugh) in which he said that the bad thing about having to be right all the time is that soon people will say, “Okay, you’re right,” as they simply turn and walk away.

    That’s pretty much what I had to do. I was getting angry and stressing myself out, which was only hurting me. Over time, I learned that the best thing I could do, to save myself, was to calmly say, “You can be right; I want to have peace.” The peace I found, though, was in walking away.

    I’m sorry you’re going through what you’re going through. Just remember to be with your friends and appreciate them for who they are as they appreciate you for being you. 🙂

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