Odd one out…

Last night my best friend came in from Interstate. I have about three female best friends and ironically I could probably pick a “Sex in the City” character for each one of us (I would be the Charlotte in the group…but probably more after being influenced by Samantha). The interesting thing about my little groups of girlfriend is…I am the only single one.

Last night was fun and we talked and giggled a lot, but it was hard to hear about the problems they were having, especially when their guys are completely nuts about them. They are mostly things that they knew could be an issue later. I think that’s the hardest thing about being single, especially when you are the only one, is listening to how bad a friends relationships is, when it really isn’t and that they knew this issue would be coming up later.

I would LOVE a man who was devoted to me, who had my back, who talked to me, who tried to cheer me up when I am down. I have always had the opposite in my life. I have always had the guy who never had my back, including watching me get bullied mentally and physically by his roommate, the one who’d rather play a computer game then take care of me the night my grandfather dies, would rather spend Valentine’s Day with his friends than me.

I don’t get into relationships a lot, in fact, after 30 years I have only been in three relationships. My main problem is once I find that guy, I jump right in, and instead of letting it build up slowly and making sure that I am not falling for a façade. Except if I knew about a major issue, like children, marriage, career plans are likely to become an issue later I would never get into that relationship. I seem to find a lot that I am the only one like that. A lot of girls will get into a relationship to be in a relationship and that’s when the problems start.

True, I have nights where I feel so alone that I hold onto that pillow like I never have before…but I also know that one of the worst feelings in this world is feeling completely alone while you have someone lying right next to you.

Am I the only one who might WANT a relationship, but don’t feel like I NEED one? Am I the only odd one out…I would rather be alone, than feel alone.

 

8 thoughts on “Odd one out…

  1. Omg, you are SOOO right about the worst feeling in the world being feeling completely alone when you have someone lying right next to you! And again I’ll say, I swear we are the same person because I always jump in too fast. I think it’s maybe because we take so long in finding someone we want to be with that when we do come across one, we rush all in because we’re so happy to find it, and then of course we get our hearts broken. But ya know, I would rather love fully and deeply, and take that chance because eventually the right person will be just as fully committed and passionate as you are and it will all be completely worth it.

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    1. Hahahaha…Sometimes I think that we are the same people too! Just in different countries! hehe =D I agree with you that I think I jump in and then end up getting my heart broken, but also like yourself, I know that the right guy wont mind that because he’ll “get it” ~.^ Although saying that, there’s a guy I’ve met recently and I’m trying to take it slowly and so far so good…Except he did think there for a while that I didn’t like him,lol.

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      1. Lol same with me!! I’m trying very hard to go slow…but I can’t stop myself! I’m so nervous I’m just going to push too fast and blow everything, but I think that when you know you have some thing special with someone, why beat around the bush?

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      2. I’ve met someone recently and I am going so slow and it feels wrong, but I’m happy to at the same time to go slow…Not 100% certain if I’m ‘ready’ yet >.<

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      3. Haha well you are the best judge of what is right for yourself. Follow your gut and I’m sure it won’t steer you wrong. 🙂

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